129. To be broken
129. To be broken
Tomoka was a mess, she knew that much already but only now did she realize how much of a mess she truly is. The stinging sensation on her cheeks only grew sharper as her tears trailed down her cheeks. Her vision grew cloudy from the never ending stream of tears while her words got stuck on her throat from her uneven breathing.
Her broken mind fought desperately with itself. One side a cold logic place where only efficiency mattered. The other a mess of suppressed emotions trying to set themselves free. The end result being a broken girl unable to understand anything. Tomoka hated her current state, she didn’t want to be broken like this. It was that thought that had tipped the scales towards her logical mind retaking control. However, she wasn’t alone at the moment.
“It’s alright to cry, take as long as you need and let it all out. Weren’t those the words you spoke to me back when I lost mom? Now it’s my turn to help you cry out all the sadness” Hearing Hinata’s words tipped the scale once again towards her emotions breaking free.
“We are here for you no matter what so please let us help you even if all you need is a shoulder to cry on” As Nozomi said that she joined Hinata in hugging Tomoka.
Tomoka for her part didn’t want to let her emotions out just yet. She wanted to explain her story from an objective point of view. However, now that was simply impossible. At that moment Tomoka felt tired, like she had been holding a mountain for far too long. Now she just wanted to rest, to let go.
The dam broke and with it all her repressed feelings came crashing down on her, worse of all is the fact the memories she had repressed with them came as well. All the trauma she had suppressed all she hated about herself, everything had been set free.
Tomoka felt like she was being crushed under all of it. She didn’t know what to do or how to convey her situation to those around her. Tomoka’s fractured mind in a desperate attempt to keep itself working began to diminish its own capabilities.
As Hinata and Nozomi hugged the wailing Tomoka they felt how she began to change. Her body became smaller and less muscular, her features turning rounder with baby fat to them. A moment was all it took for them to realize that Tomoka was deaging. Of course this was only happening inside Tomoka’s mindscape as a representation of her mind.
To put it in simple terms Tomoka’s mind that had been built on a shaky foundation had finally collapsed on itself. Her personality that was nothing but a lie had simply ceased to be. Tomoka, the real Tomoka that had never truly interacted with the world had finally come out. However, she isn’t meant to stay for long.
Looking around Kurama and the girls realized that Tomoka’s mindscape had shattered like glass showing what is underneath. Now that the fake personality is no more, he could see how truly broken Tomoka is.
A landscape with corpses as far as the eye can see were only dead grass and trees dotted the place. Truly a nightmarish place. Rocks floated around in defiance of the laws of gravity as clouds clad in lighting fought with them for dominance of the sky. The once blue skies taking the color of spilt blood as a black sun bathed the world in hatred.
The corpses would move from time to time to mutilate themselves or others only for the wounds to heal moments after inciting a sense of despair and hate on the corpses as if they hated what they are.
Seeing all this brought the two girls to tears. Meanwhile The fox couldn’t help but shiver remembering what hid within this horrid place.