Other world chimera [Naruto fanfic]

128. Truth

A few hours passed like a blur for Tomoka. She was aware of what had happened around her but didn’t pay much attention as she had bigger problems in her mind to handle, both literally and figuratively. Her mind had been using most of its processing power attempting to build a believable narrative that wouldn’t expose much. However, no matter how she tried, all her mind fired at her were blanks. 

Deep inside she understood that she needed to tell the truth and yet her logical mind screamed at her percentages of outcomes both favorable and not. The reason her logical mind attempted and failed constantly to build a plausible lie was due to these possibilities. Tomoka had run the numbers many times in her mind and everytime she got the same result. 

There is a seventy eight percent chance Hinata would abandon her. Kurama’s number was even bleaker at a ninety eight percent chance. Last but not least Nozomi had a fifty four chance to leave her as well. Of course all of these calculations could be erroneous, after all, they had been built with data she had gathered through her life. There was no way to know for real. 

As Tomoka continued to overwork her brain in an attempt to find a way out, time ran out. In front of her sat both Hinata, Nozomi and Kurama inside her mindscape. 

“So?” Kurama said with an impatient tone as Tomoka had spent the last minute opening and closing her mouth. 

Looking at the three in front of her, Tomoka decided to just let go. Her overworked mind came to a stand still as her suppressed emotions worked their way out of her mouth. 

“I hadn’t realized or rather, I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact. I, the me right now in front of you all is nothing but a fake. Like my phantoms the me you have come to know is nothing more than a built personality made upon knowledge acquired through my lives. It’s pathetic really that I didn’t realize at least that much.” 

As she finished speaking an awkward silence fell as no one knew what to say or even think. This had been a heavy revelation for the people listening. 

“Then… you don’t love us?” Hinata tried, she really did try to keep her voice leveled. To keep her tone even. She failed miserably as it cracked with every word she spoke. 

“No, It’s not that simple. I couldn’t love you because I couldn’t feel love. At least that much has changed. During the whole Danzo debacle I came to realize my situation and with it I attempted to fix myself. I had to confront my trauma instead of just killing it away. It hurt but I succeeded because of you two. I can feel romantic love now, and I love the two of you to the point it hurts.” At this point tears began gathering in the corner of Tomoka’s eyes as she gave the two girls a sad smile. 

That single smile conveyed a lot of meaning. The crafter personality felt sadness, guilt, anger and many other emotions but Tomoka, the real Tomoka, the one hidden deep within felt love. 

“I understand if you are angry with me, I understand if you… would want to leav-” Before Tomoka could finish speaking a crisp slap resounded through the place, then another. With  her cheeks red from the slaps Tomoka saw the two girls with angry expressions that would make an oni look like a kitty in comparison.

“DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND WE WILL LEAVE YOU!” A really angry Hinata shouted with her fists held so tight her knuckles turned white. 

“Much less now that we know the truth” Nozomi for her part had suspected for long that something was wrong with Tomoka. However, she never expected that the one she loved would be this broken. 

“I may not feel as strongly for you as they do but even I won’t leave you alone knowing this much. Now speak the whole story, we will need to know it if we are to help”