130. To heal
130. To heal
When Tomoka opened her eyes again she found herself to be empty. No, there was something there, like a weak candle flame surviving in the harshest of winters. A flame that refused to go out as it fed from the warmth the two hugging her provided.
“Tomoka, I’am so sorry I didn’t realize before.” Hinata cried while hugging the regressed version of her girlfriend.
“It’s fine, I-”
“It’s not fine! You are not fine!” Nozomi shouted while tightening her hug on the now four year old Tomoka.
“What is important now is that we will help you get fine in whichever way we can.” Even the fox was having a hard time containing his emotions.
Nodding Tomoka wiggled herself out of the tight hug Tomoka looked around before speaking. She knew what needed to be done, she knew what doing so would entail. However, despite all the suffering she would have to put herself through she was willing.
“I am broken, that much should be obvious now. I have separated my own feelings and emotions by killing mental versions of myself. What I need to do now is relive all those experiences and accept them.” Saying that Tomoka approached one of the nearby corpses.
“nO ma-tEr wHa-t You dO, yOu a-Re sssTill A fAi-lure” The corpse spoke with its broken and creepy speech while its dead eyes stared towards Tomoka.
“I-” Before Tomoka could answer Hinata stood between her and the corps.
“If Tomoka is a failure then there is no one in the world who is not. Yes, she has her own quirks and she makes mistakes sometimes. BUT! She always strives to better herself and help others! Tomoka is no failure”
As Tomoka heard Hinata’s words she relieved the painful memory associated with this corpse. The Memory of her parents' indifference to her efforts. The memories of her boss shouting at her for not creating her inventions even faster. The feelings of being inadequate at everything. All those feelings were washed away by Hinata’s words.
“Failure is part of success. Fail a hundred times, and learn a hundred things so you may succeed the next time.” After saying that, Tomoka's eyes gain a glint of determination.
Determination had settled within her. The determination to make things right. The determination to progress and better herself. With her determination the corpse now regained its life as it looked at the little girl that seemed to age by a few months.
“Then let us fail as much as we need to succeed.” Leaving those words behind the corpse burst into motes of light that sank into the ground. As the last mote of light banished a circle of dead grass regained its life. Then a brazier burning with bright orange flames appeared where the corpse once had been representing her ever burning determination.
“Thanks Hinata.” Tomoka had made up her mind to go through all of that pain for herself and for those she loved. However, she hadn’t realized how hard it would be. Now, with the help of those she loves the pain would lessen and the trials to come would become bearable.
“No problema. So this is how we fix you?”
Nodding Tomoka walked towards the next corpse. She felt nervous moving forward. Every single corpse represented her trauma, her past, and in a sense who she is. Would the others treat her differently after this? Would their relationship change? and if so, would it be for better or worse? She didn’t know.
“Common Tomoka. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can spend our time together” Hearing Nozomi’s words, Tomoka couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Whatever is to come, at least she knows that they love her and she loves them too.