You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 93 — Your Pengornis Isn’t The Only Thing I Like

Edited by DancingDolphinsYo

Although the voices of the two people were not loud, Guan Shanjin’s inner force was very strong. He was worried that his mother would say something inappropriate to Wu Xingzi, and so, despite remaining inside the room, he could still hear about 70 to 80 percent of their conversation. At that moment, he did not know if he should step outside or not.

Putting aside the issue of his mother’s solemn tone, the issue of Wu Xingzi, this old fellow, liking his pengornis much more than Guan Shanjin himself, caused a feeling of unpleasantness to rise within the younger man.

He took out the tea leaves, then instructed the servant to prepare a heating stove and hot water before slowly returning to the yard, sitting down between his mother and Wu Xingzi.

“It’s mainly my pengornis that you like, hmm?” Since a couple should not hold on to grudges until the next day, Guan Shanjin had to clarify things then and there.

Hearing Guan Shanjin’s question, Wu Xingzi’s eyes widened in startlement. “Y-you heard it?”

For some reason, he felt a chill run down his back, and all his hair stood up. A wave of guilty panic emerged from his heart.

“Mn.” Guan Shanjin tossed the tea leaves to his mother, giving a smile as he studied Wu Xingzi’s expression of impending doom. “Why? Did you forget what you just said? Saying that right in front of my mother, you’re quite daring.” He pinched the old quail’s cheek, leaving three red marks that took some time to subside.

“I-I didn’t mean that…” Wu Xingzi hurriedly pressed a hand to his cheek. Although Guan Shanjin did not use much strength, the pinch still caused him to feel some slight, tingling pain, and Wu Xingzi knew that the man in front of him was once again jealous.

Ai, why was his jealousy so easily ignited?

“Then what did you mean? Other than my pengornis, there’s nothing else good about me that you like?” Guan Shanjin’s tone was very aggressive. He did not feel that there was anything wrong about always being jealous of himself.

Sitting by the side, completely ignored, the Lord Protector’s wife secretly rolled her eyes upon hearing her son’s hopelessly foolish question. This son of hers was born innately wise, and immensely gifted. Ever since young, he had been a somewhat overly intelligent child, and no one would ever think that he would be such an idiot with regards to the matters of love.

“No, other than your pengornis, you have many, many areas that I like.” Wu Xingzi tried to explain, a bright blush on his face. Guan Shanjin did not mind that his mother was listening to them, but that was not the case for him! Such intimate sweet talk between couples, how could Wu Xingzi say it aloud in front of his future mother-in-law?

“What areas?” However, Guan Shanjin was relentless, insisting on further clarification.

“Uh… Uhh…” Wu Xingzi sneaked a glance at the Lord Protector’s wife. The lady had her head bowed as she ate the snacks, pretending to see nothing.

“Hmm?” Guan Shanjin blocked Wu Xingzi’s view. Out in broad daylight, this man could still be distracted by the sight of others? Hmph!

“D-don’t be like this.” Wu Xingzi’s ears burned, as though they could burst into flames any moment. He stuttered, “There are many things that I like about you, like… like… your face.”

“Pfft!” The Lord Protector’s wife clamped her hand over her mouth, managing to prevent herself from spitting out the contents inside. Her beautiful eyes could not conceal her amusement, and they were fixed on Wu Xingzi’s face.

“Niang!” A little embarrassed, Guan Shanjin’s voice was a little loud.

“I have to say, Mr. Wu truly recognises quality! Your face is really not too bad, it’s like mine.” The Lord Protector’s wife could not help but feel pleased.

“Yes, yes, your mother and you share about 70 percent similarity.” Wu Xingzi hurriedly nodded his head in agreement. Receiving a fierce glare from Guan Shanjin, he hung his head slowly, not understanding what wrong he had done.

“So if I’m ugly, you wouldn’t like me then?”

Huh?

“How could that be? I like Ping Yifan’s face too.” Wu Xingzi shook his head, waving his hands, quickly declaring his loyalty. Unexpectedly, Guan Shanjin’s face darkened further, making Wu Xingzi feel even more at a loss. He wanted to seek help from the Lord Protector’s wife, but Guan Shanjin had to be there between them, and he could not even see a hair of the lady.

“Ping Yifan?” Guan Shanjin sneered. The memory came to him, of how Wu Xingzi had dared to invite Ping Yifan to share his grave during their first meeting! That little crappy place, he did not even have the rights to rest there, how could Ping Yifan even compare to him!

Wu Xingzi was truly crying tearlessly. He completely could not understand why Guan Shanjin was angry. Was Ping Yifan not Guan Shanjin as well? Was Guan Shanjin’s pengornis not part of him too? And Guan Shanjin’s face was really, really good looking!

“Ai, d-don’t be angry anymore. Has Zaizong-xiong been making your life difficult these days?” Wu Xingzi drew closer to Guan Shanjin, shyly patting his hand in consolation. “Have something sweet to soothe yourself, alright? S-shall I stay back and accompany you tonight?”

Hearing that, the sour jealousy in Guan Shanjin’s heart immediately faded by a lot. The old fellow was so obedient, so how could he reject him?

“You’ve learnt to coax people,” Guan Shanjin snorted lightly. Right then, the servant brought over the heating stove along with the instruments to make tea. In a good mood, the Lord Protector’s son started preparing tea.

“My words aren’t flippant.” Wu Xingzi rubbed his nose, finally heaving a breath of relief. He still remembered that New Year when Guan Shanjin had torn his pengornis drawings! “You wanted me to burn Ping Yifan’s pengornis drawing, and I did.”

“Good boy.” Guan Shanjin could not be any more pleased. Intimately, he stroked Wu Xingzi’s nose, reaching out and tugging the other man into his arms. “Pick up another piece of ‘Spring’s Frequent Visitor’ and let me try it. Yan Wenxin actually dared to use something so trifling to bait you?”

“Ah, this is really delicious! Twenty years ago, it was the most famous snack in Goose City. Later on, the shop owner packed up and moved up north to his relatives, and I had never eaten it again.” As Wu Xingzi spoke, he carefully picked up another piece and fed it to Guan Shanjin.

The man’s soft tongue flicked past his fingers. Wu Xingzi’s body tingled as his fingers were sucked on. With a bright red face, he hunched into himself. “Don’t be like this, the Lord Protector’s furen1 is here.”

“Don’t mind me, just do as you wish. I’m just having some snacks and drinking some tea. When I see that Jin’er is living well, I’m happy.” The Lord Protector’s wife waved her hand generously. This was the first time she had seen her son holding so much affection towards another person. In the past, when Guan Shanjin had shown great importance to Lu Zezhi, things had never been like this. It was truly a great comfort to her.

Since his mother had already said so, Guan Shanjin naturally did not stand on further courtesy. He openly cuddled and flirted with Wu Xingzi, causing the old man to be in a complete fluster. Wu Xingzi wanted to refuse him, but at the same time, he also wanted to draw closer. In the end, he just pretended that the Lord Protector’s wife was not present, burying his face in the crook of Guan Shanjin’s neck, his entire body flushing red as he pretended to be dead.

The Lord Protector’s wife who finally managed to get her hands on some tea looked on in disdain. How could she not know that her son was doing this deliberately? Other than getting jealous of himself, he was even getting filled with jealousy of his own mother. All she did was ask her son-in-law what he liked, and accidentally discovered a pengornis in the process.

How did she end up giving birth to someone so foolish in the matters of love? However, when she thought about her own husband… Fine, this was something inherited from the Guan ancestors, and it could not be avoided.

Seeing how her son had started to nibble on her son-in-law’s lips, no matter how forgiving the Lord Protector’s wife was, she could no longer stay there. Rubbing her nose, she made her farewells.

Finally, Guan Shanjin remembered that he was her son. Instructing Wu Xingzi to remain waiting in the yard, he sent his mother off.

The Lord Protector’s wife did not take a carriage, but had made her way here on foot. Guan Shanjin had wanted to prepare a carriage for his mother, but she stopped him.

“Just walk a portion of the way with me. I’m about to be stifled to death, staying at home the whole time. It sounds glorious to be the Lord Protector’s wife, but it’s not a status that allows one to relax easily.” Although the Lord Protector’s wife came from an aristocratic family, her character had always been the lively sort. When she was young, she liked to dress up as a boy, exploring the world outside. Her family had tried various times to stop her from doing so, but after failing, they just allowed her to do as she liked.

Her parents had thought that their daughter would only be able to marry below their family in the future, but who would have thought that at a border town, she would meet the then-Lord Protector’s son. The two fell in love at first sight, and they quickly settled down, startling her entire family.

Having carried the status of the Lord Protector’s wife for so many years, she had to be dignified and stately, demure and refined to the point where she almost suffocated on it. Now that there was an opportunity for her to relax outside, she completely did not want to go back so quickly.

“D’ie2 must be waiting anxiously.” Guan Shanjin gave his excuses, but as his mother, how could she not see through him? He clearly was thinking about his own wife in his house, and all he wanted to do was to go back and be intimate with him.

She snorted. “Don’t give me such a superficial answer. Since your father has allowed me to come out alone, he naturally understands that I will not be home so soon. There are some things that, as a mother and child, we have to discuss. Don’t pretend to be ignorant and try to hide.” The Lord Protector’s wife caught her son’s hand, looking as though she was about to share some private words.

Guan Shanjin was resigned. No matter what, his mother would always hold a special place in his heart, and so he could not just free his hand and leave.

“I’ll listen obediently then.”

“Have you mentioned to Mr. Wu that you’ve invited Bai Shaochang to live in the residence?” The news of this matter had spread quickly through the capital. Who did not know that the Bai family was highly favoured, and how they were special in the eyes of the emperor? Despite being just normal civilians, their thoughts and opinions did hold a certain weight.

A while ago, Guan Shanjin had been discarded to the side by the emperor. Not only was his command over the army taken back, he was removed from his position as well. If not for the Lord Protector having just this one child, he might even have lost his position as heir. Everyone was speculating that to regain his status, Guan Shanjin had struck a relationship with Young Master Bai, forming an official relationship of life partners with him.

Guan Shanjin’s forehead wrinkled, and he spoke, displeased, “No, and there’s no need to either. This matter will be over very quickly. Bai Shaochang has someone in his heart, and he would not actually fall for me. I’m only taking advantage of this opportunity, that’s it.”

“Son, I truly don’t understand. You’re clearly very intelligent, but why, with regards to the matter of love and relationships, you’re this foolish? Your Guan family, other than excelling in that matter, you really have no ability in seeking partners for yourselves. No wonder Mr. Wu only likes your pengornis.” When it came to dissing her son, the Lord Protector’s wife had never stood on courtesy. With a few sentences from her, her son’s expression, which was already ugly, darkened further.

“He doesn’t only like my pengornis,” Guan Shanjin objected darkly.

“Oh, yes, and your face. I didn’t forget that.” Through her veiled hat, the Lord Protector’s wife smiled at her son.

“What exactly do you want to say?” Guan Shanjin’s tone was a lot less polite, feeling gloomy from his mother’s provocations.

“As your mother, I just want to tell you, although you have your own plans with regards to Bai Shaochang, you should still inform Mr. Wu. This would prevent him from any upset.” Furthermore, since Yan Wenxin had looked for Wu Xingzi and even gave him the boxes of pastries, perhaps he had already revealed some things to Wu Xingzi to try and seek a reaction.

“Wu Xingzi is not the petty and small-minded sort.” Guan Shanjin disapproved of his mother’s words. He had always held control over everything by himself. He did not wish for his partner to be entangled in such matters in the slightest, as it would make it seem as though he was incapable.

“Whether he’s small-minded or not, I don’t know, but…” The Lord Protector’s wife sighed, speaking meaningfully, “With the lesson learnt from Lu Zezhi, you have to consider things carefully.”

Her words could be considered very frank. After all, the Lord Protector’s wife had known Lu Zezhi before he was even twenty. Seeing how a young man, who once had some sort of integrity to him, had been rendered useless by her son’s doting, she did not wish for things to be repeated again.

Guan Shanjin remained silent. He knew that Wu Xingzi and Lu Zezhi were different. However, when he recalled what Wu Xingzi had said a few days ago under the influence of the truth-telling drug, he felt an inexplicable pain in his heart.

“Fine, I’ll consider sharing some details with him.” Guan Shanjin finally relented a little. By then, the two had reached the edge of the city’s south. “Don’t spend too much time walking about. If d’ie doesn’t see you in four hours, I’m afraid he’d go crazy. Go back as soon as possible.”

“Hai, isn’t there four hours still?” The Lord Protector’s wife waved him off casually. “Alright, you should go back. Since you’ve already decided to spend the rest of your life with someone, don’t start treating them like an adored pet and trap them in a cage. Mr. Wu isn’t a simple man, don’t underestimate him.”

She was uncertain exactly how much of her words her son had taken in.

Guan Shanjin gave a casual nod of his head. He did not underestimate Wu Xingzi, but only wanted to shield him from any and all troubles.