This Ascent to Divinity is Lewder Than Expected

5.60 – Last Minute Preparations II

Fe sat in front of an enormous stone tablet which stretched nearly from the floor to the ceiling, at least nine feet tall. In the center of the tablet was an artifact, though not the corrupted one Zoey had dropped off with her. A golden locket. Spaced in a circle around the piece of jewelry were runes of varying colors, shapes, and complexity, reminding Zoey of spell designs, though smaller, condensed. Several were glowing, indicating they were 'active' in some way, while the rest were dull. Despite Zoey's urgency, she hesitated at the doorway as she took in the sight.

Fe twisted a dial on the tablet—one of several—and a handful of the glowing runes deactivated, turning dull. Others replaced the dimmed ones, taking a red, blue, or green glow. Fe made a noise, though Zoey wasn't sure it was one of excitement, realization, or something else. She jotted a quick sentence down in her notebook. Next, Fe held up a framed piece of glass and peered into it, eyes flicking across the runes, then leaning in to study the item itself. She nodded to herself and scribbled more notes down.

So, this was how Fe deciphered what items did? Artificers were known for being able to determine the effects of items—with varying levels of success—since shard loot could be rather unhelpful in their default descriptions. By the layout of her workshop, it seemed this enormous tablet was the primary means of doing so: like how a loom might be a seamstress's primary tool. Of course, Zoey had less than zero idea what was going on, or what Fe was reading from the indecipherable arrangement of glowing runes, or what the framed piece of glass helped with, but, nonetheless, she was fascinated to see Fe at work.

Unfortunately, Zoey couldn't afford to stand there and watch. Nor question Fe over what her equipment did. She needed to get moving. Rosalie had implied it wasn't out of the question Lucinda would simply scoop her up and leave, should the delay become excessive, or should the woman change her mind. Saying that they were on a tight schedule was an understatement.

"Excuse me? Fe?"

Zoey's earlier attempts to get the sheep-girl's attention had failed, with the woman being completely absorbed in her work. But standing right there in her workshop, Zoey finally succeeded. The sheep girl jolted in her chair, and, horrifyingly, the framed glass device in her hands tumbled away. Fe scrambled immediately to catch it, her hands glancing once, twice, then three times on the object, before miraculously finding a grip. She clutched the—probably valuable—item tight to her chest and spun to face Zoey, eyes wide.

"Z-Zoey?!"

"Sorry!" Zoey said. "Didn't mean to startle you. I tried to announce myself."

"How did you get in here?"

"About that," Zoey said, wincing. "I might've broken your door down."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"I was in a rush. And you weren't answering. I'll pay for it, of course," she assured the woman quickly. "I don't have time to explain why, but I'm leaving early, probably tonight. I need that item we gave you. And a rundown on whatever you learned about it."

Fe blinked rapidly, still clutching the framed piece of glass. She looked at Zoey, then back to the enormous tablet with dozens of highlighted runes. "Right. Uh … okay? I can do that." She looked back at Zoey. "But my door? Really?"

"It was loud. I don't know how you didn't hear. Someone probably called the guards on me. How much do you think it'll cost to fix?" Zoey pulled out a purse of coins from her inventory and started counting out an estimate. Well, a generous overestimate, but seeing how she'd broken the woman's door down, Zoey thought that was fair.

"It's fine, I suppose …" Fe said, confusedly taking the coins she passed over. "I just hope you're alright? Nothing too bad has happened, right?"

"I'm fine. But staying in Treyhull isn't an option. We've been meaning to head out soon, anyway." Zoey winced. "And, I'm sorry, but we're really on a time crunch. So the item, please?"

Fe shook off her disorientation. "Of course. Let me go grab it."

A moment later, Fe returned with the corrupted item in tow. Zoey was unable to stop herself from being briefly amused by its appearance.

[Wand of Remote Pleasure]: Rare. Equip, then activate from a distant location to provide a thrilling experience.

The words were horrendously jumbled inside her head, difficult to read, but she'd pieced together the description back at Mel's shard. A remote vibrator. Hardly anything that surprising, considering the shard's usual fare, but it was still funny to refer to the item in a serious manner—especially as something important.

"Thanks," Zoey said, taking it. "What'd you learn?"

Fe's eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh, so much," she started gushing. "There's a lot I have to tell you. I'm not sure how to condense it, either. How much of a rush are we in?"

"A lot. But if it's important, that's fine." She couldn't waste time chatting, but anything Fe had learned of a corrupted item was of the highest priority: it related to Zoey's ultimate mission, the literal decline of the world's stability. So she could spare a few minutes for that.

"Okay, then, first, I'll explain the item's effects," Fe said. "What it does at a base level."

"You figured that out?" Zoey asked, surprised. She'd been resigned to the corrupted item being entirely stubborn in its ability to be deciphered, and Fe not discovering much through standard artificing methods. But maybe that wasn't the case?

"Basically, it empowers abilities. You equip it, and, um," Fe trailed off for a second, then blushed. "And, you know, use it like it's meant to be used. You know how that works—?"

"I do," Zoey said. The concept of a remote vibrator was hardly foreign to her, if, admittedly, it wasn't something she'd gotten up to, back home.

"Right. Well, you use it, and on the, erm, final event, it bestows a powerful temporary boost to a random skill. How that boost manifests changes depending on the skill it attaches itself to."

"Wow." That sounded strong. "How'd you figure that out?"

"It's strangely stable," Fe said, confirming Zoey's suspicion. "I expected it to be a lot more difficult to work with, but even several of my traditional methods," she gestured idly behind her, to the enormous tablet with runes inscribed on it, "illuminated quite a bit about the item. The oddest thing is, all things considered, maybe it was broken in a good way. As if there were … limitations installed into the item that restricted it to the utility of a first-advancement piece of shard loot, but that, thanks to whatever happened to it, those restrictions disappeared. Or lessened. But the core functionality seems to be just that: the core functionality, unaffected by how it'd been damaged. It operates entirely as intended. Well … sort of."

"Sort of?" That was a concerning clarification.

"There's some instability," Fe said. "But not in a dangerous way, from what I've seen. The effects it grants, the strength and type of those effects, how long it should take to recharge—there seems to be significant variance, more than I would expect from an item like it. Not that I really have a guideline to go on for magical sex loot, but, you know." She shrugged. "I've done this most my life, so I can make educated guesses. I think a lot of standardized factors are in flux, thanks to its current state."

Zoey considered the appraisal. The explanation made sense, especially after Zoey had been on the receiving end of the hourglass, which was a broken item that had also been too strong while remaining functional.

"So, in summary, I'd call it mostly safe to use," Fe concluded. "Especially since it's so strong you almost can't afford to not. Still, I'd be wary of unintended or unusual effects. I think it can be used like a regular item, but I can't give any kind of guarantee. It is a broken item."

Zoey supposed this was the best-case scenario for the item. She'd expected it to be a total wash. Still, she was worried about even a chance of it malfunctioning. "So final call, you would use it, if you were in our place?" As an artificer, a woman who worked with magical items for a living, her professional opinion held more weight than Zoey's.

Fe hesitated. Her cheeks colored. "Well … full honesty … I already have. So yes, I would."

Zoey's eyebrows went up.

"S-Sorry," Fe said. "It's the only way I'd feel comfortable telling you that it's safe to use. I should've asked before taking that liberty, but I got carried away. It was such a fascinating assignment!" She hesitated, tucking a strand of her white hair behind her ear. "And it actually happened pretty early on," Fe said sheepishly. "It's part of the reason I made so much progress on inspecting it. The item's activation boosted one of my passive artificing skills. An intuition-type ability. You wouldn't believe how much I've learned these past few days, thanks to that. About everything, honestly. I've made huge strides in my class. I've slept a few hours this entire week, I've been so absorbed in my work."

Huh. That was a lot to take in. Zoey was glad to hear the item worked, then, and it wasn't just a guess: Fe had literally used it, and confirmed its stability first-hand. Zoey disapproved, not because she hadn't asked first, but because of the recklessness—the danger she'd put herself in. But Fe was the best person to judge the risks associated with such a thing, so Zoey supposed she couldn't make too many judgments. And everything had worked out in the end.

Though, the idea of her using it produced some imagery that gave Zoey pause.

"That's good, I suppose," Zoey said. "It sounds strong. And … valuable."

"Valuable?" Fe asked with a snort. "That's an understatement. It's better than anything else you've brought in, and those were already amazing items." She nodded to herself. "Seriously, you've got to be the luckiest wayfarer I've ever heard of. That thing's worth a king's ransom. It boosts skills, for heaven's sake!"

Zoey considered the item in her hands. 'A king's ransom'? Fe sounded like she was only half exaggerating. Combined with the enormously useful effect, and being an item that was corrupted, and thus immensely valuable from a research standpoint, it was worth a a pile of gold. Literally.

"And you just handed it back to us?" Zoey asked, her brow furrowing.

Fe blinked.

"Sorry," Zoey said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that. Just, you know—" She shrugged. "You've been nothing but great to us, but if this is worth as much as you say …" she trailed off. "I'm just impressed at your integrity, I guess?" She winced. "I'm not trying to be insulting."

"I'm a professional," Fe said after a moment, fortunately not taking Zoey's words badly. "Besides, I care more about learning than anything. In advancing my class. Money is nice, but it's not the be-all end-all. And getting on the bad side of powerful wayfarers," she gave Zoey a pointed look, "is just an awful idea. I like sleeping at night." She frowned. "But mostly," she insisted, with a hint of offense, "it's because I'm not a thief."

"Sorry," Zoey repeated. "I know you aren't." That hadn't been what she was implying. In fact, the opposite. "I'm lucky to have hired someone with such high standards." That was why Fe's trustworthiness had come up at all.

Initially, inviting Fe back to Mantle hadn't been part of the plan; she was just the woman who inspected their items. But maybe they should. Collecting trustworthy and competent allies felt smart, especially ones already accustomed to Zoey's class, and happy to keep the secret. The sheepgirl had more than proven both parts of that.

Biting her lip, Zoey made the executive decision. Fe deserved an offer. Maybe she wouldn't be able to—maybe her life was tied down in Treyhull—but Zoey would at least give her the option.

So, Zoey explained the situation.

In both good and bad news, the sheepgirl seemed amenable to the idea, but not prepared to leave in as quick a timeframe as Sabina. Or even completely sure whether she wanted to. Fe told Zoey she would consider the offer, especially since it meant further access to the strange brand of items Zoey's team earned from shards. Odds seemed high Fe would make the trip to Mantle, but only after she tied up loose ends and properly got herself packed. She wouldn't be coming with them tonight. Or maybe even within a week. Zoey could hardly fault her for that.

Shortly after, Zoey had to leave. She said her goodbyes, gave the sheepgirl a quick hug—which seemed to fluster the woman—and then set out back into the city.

Of the tasks Zoey had been assigned, she had one more stop. Adrienne.