Savage Divinity

Chapter 595

I am not what anyone would call a pious man.

Ive always treated religion with the same skepticism I reserve for myths, legends, and barroom accounts. Maybe some of it is true, and regardless of the facts, I accept that there may be lessons to be learned from these tales, but while religious teachings are not without merit, I could never bring myself to earnestly believe in stories which were told, retold, and written thousands of years ago. Ive seen firsthand how whispered rumours can twist fact into fiction within a matter of mere hours, so I can only imagine how much has changed in a story which has been told and retold millions of times. I mean, maybe theres actually a religion out there which is totally true, and there is one or many omnipotent beings watching over us from above, but if thats the case, then I feel like my doubts are justified, because he or she can read my thoughts and understand Im making a valid point. If said omnipotent being is vindictive enough to punish me for my lack of belief or my willingness to tolerate nonbelievers, while simultaneously refusing to offer valid proof of his or her existence, then I suppose Ive no choice but to accept my punishment in the afterlife.

That said, one thing that keeps me from going full atheist is the sheer wonder of the world around me. Take the human body for example, a marvellously complex creation on so many levels. We are beings comprised of trillions of cells clumped together to form our bones, tissues, and organs, which all work in concert to allow us to function as human beings. Theres so much mystery locked away inside these bodies we inhabit, that even a thousand lifetimes might not be enough to learn everything there is to know about the human condition. Anatomy, physiology, and biochemistry barely even scratches the surface of how we function, for youd also need to know about psychology, cytology, genetics, and more, each one so intricately connected to the others that you cant even study one subject without knowing something about the others, not to mention the various fail-safes in place to ensure we can take a licking and keep on ticking.

I mean, think about how complicated our bodies really are. We breathe oxygen into our lungs where its picked up by our blood and delivered throughout our bodies. Once this precious cargo is delivered, our blood carries away waste carbon dioxide to be expelled when we exhale, with measures in place to shut things down and keep us alive for as long as possible if we should ever run low on air. We create antibodies in our blood to fight against bacteria and infection, while simultaneously cultivating a whole slew of helpful gut bacteria to help us break food down into energy needed to fuel the bodys various processes. We possess a convoluted nervous system which coordinates all our actions by transmitting signals to every part of our body without the need for conscious thought or even basic awareness, and a brain sitting at the centre of that nervous system allowing us to override those reflexes and instincts, on top of also storing and processing information in a manner I have no ability to describe.

Knowing all this makes it difficult to believe that evolution was the only driving force behind humanitys creation and rise to power. So many pieces needed to fall perfectly into place for us to come into being, like opposable thumbs, tool creation, complex social interactions, and rational, emotional, analytical, and abstract thoughts. If not for countless quirks of fate, we might well have become nothing more than mindless, hairless apes. As such, I cannot wholly deny the existence of a higher power, and as I lay drained and breathless upon my marital bed, I give thanks to any and all deities looking down on me from above.

Because by God, was that sex divine. Theres just no other way to describe it, and it would have been utterly impossible if not for the heaven-sent miracle of the human body.

Judging by her reaction, it appears my wife also arrived at the same conclusion, and after long minutes spent basking in the afterglow, we lock eyes and share a smile of delight.

Okay, more of a giggle, but thats hardly erotic, sensual, or manly.

You, Yan begins, punctuating the word with a kiss, Are incorrigible. Was last night not enough to sate your appetite? To think, you cant even let your poor, tired wife sleep in after a most strenuous and stressful wedding.

I can never get enough of you, wife, I reply, drunk on the taste of her lips and the touch of her skin. Not in a hundred lifetimes, much less a single night. Besides, I add, grinning at her sleepy expression, What stressful wedding? All you did was show up and look magnificent.

Mm, true. Nuzzling deeper into my embrace, she adds, You looked mighty magnificent yourself, especially while running the obstacle course. Do you still have the name of the tailor who put Gerels wedding gift together? Id very much like to see you run the course again, this time wearing nothing but frills.

The scary part is, she actually means it, so its best if I dont encourage her. Howd you even see it the first time around? Werent you locked away in the restaurant?

I talked Kyung into sneaking me out under Concealment. Beaming oh so prettily, Yan sighs and says, He likes to look tough, but he spoils me.

Its nice that theyre getting along, though Id like it if some of Kyungs kindness would spill on over to my side. Mildly jealous of the exceedingly handsome half-cat, I overcompensate with bravado. I was pretty incredible, wasnt I? And all without Chi I might add. Raising my arm to flex and admire my supple, corded biceps, I once again marvel at what an amazing machine the human body is. When I first shattered my Core, I could barely stand upright beneath the weight of the air around me, but after a year of minimal exercise and good eating, Im in better shape than Ive ever been. I mean, Im no hulking, muscle-bound warrior, but Im as fit as can be, with a wiry frame, well-defined chest, and sculpted abs to boot.

Ive noticed.

Ignoring Yans devilish grin and wandering hands for the sake of my masculine pride, I buy myself a bit more time to rest and recuperate before going at it again. Seriously, I think everyone uses Chi unconsciously more than they know. Not just Martial Warriors, but commoners too, else I dont think anyone would survive without being as physically fit as I am. Im not just tooting my own horn here either, it takes significant effort just to walk upright in this worlds increased gravity, but human beings are nothing if not adaptable. Only thing is, they had something they could rely on besides peak physical fitness, that being the Energy of the Heavens. Think about it Yan. Even without Reinforcement, youre much stronger than I am, which defies logic. Running my fingers along her smooth, slender arms, I put mine next to hers to really showcase the sheer difference in size and show that my forearms are thicker than her biceps.

Not really, she replies, kissing my cheek to smooth my wounded pride. Im a Martial Warrior, and you know we live by different rules.

Yes, but why? And how? Questions I really have no answer to. Despite being able to kick ass and take names with the best of them, Yan does not have what one would call an athletic physique. I mean, shes in great shape, but in more of a wiry, coltish sort of way with minimal muscle definition, as if she stays fit through healthy diet rather than physical activity, except she can pack away more food than a workhorse. Going by appearance alone, you wouldnt expect her to be able to run for ten minutes without panting and heaving, but she could probably sprint ten kilometres without breaking a sweat. She can also throw me around with one hand and leap twice her height with ease, all without consciously using Chi in any way, shape or form. Thats just her baseline, as it were, able to pull off superhuman feats through sheer force of will rather than actual muscle mass, and its incredible to watch in action.

In contrast, I have rippling muscles all over my compact frame and almost no body fat to speak of, despite an exceedingly high caloric diet and moderately inactive routine. Hell, I still eat as much as a Martial Warrior despite my shattered Core, because thats just what my body needs to keep from cannibalizing my muscles, which were built by just surviving under these harsh conditions. Yet despite being in top form, there is absolutely no way I could ever overpower Yan, even if she were exhausted and Chi-less from a full day of fighting. Hell, its getting to the point where I can barely keep up with Tate out on the obstacle course, even though he literally trips over his own feet. Tali has long since left us both behind, which goes to prove that my embarrassing display on the obstacle course yesterday was nothing special in the eyes of a trained Martial Warrior. The only thing I had going for me on the obstacle course was familiarity, and by the time my wedding banquet rolled around, there were plenty of embarrassing stories, but so many of my former peers were chatting about what to include on a more difficult course. Every single suggestion I overheard wouldve been impossible for me to overcome, whether it be eight metre verticals or stepping stones with the surface area of a fist.

So yea, Im in peak human physical condition, which apparently is the bare minimum to function normally without Chi. Great world Ive reincarnated in. Just the best.

Having gotten lost in my sarcastic musings, I neglected to keep my insatiable wife distracted and find myself unable to resist her sudden advances. Not that I would even if I could, but its always nice to have options. Then theres no more time for thought however, as I rise to the challenge, and several marathons later, I finally collapse back into bed, breathless and sweaty, while my new wife slips out of bed as fresh as a daisy, humming a cheery little tune as she gets dressed for the day.

Oof. I dont think my ego will ever recover from this. Between the restraints and her... involuntary reactions, Mila pretty much exhausts herself so long as I work hard enough, but I dont think I could ever burn through all of Yans stamina, not even if I were a Martial Warrior again. That said, theres something to be said about a woman with a healthy sexual appetite, and its always nice to be wanted, so I suppose Im just complaining for the sake of complaining. Plus, considering the various ways I could go, dying mid-coitus doesnt seem all too terrible, and Yan could even politely say that I died in bed.

Eighty plus years from now, hopefully.

Alright, Yan says, leaning over to kiss me once shes finished getting dressed. Im starving, so Im going to go have breakfast with Grandpa. Want me to bring you something to eat so you have more time to rest?

...Implying she wants to come back and pick up where we left off. God I love this woman, but I fear she may be the death of me. About Grandpa Du, I begin, changing the subject to buy even more time to lay here and rest. I was thinking, now that were married, it wouldnt be right to let him keep staying with Taduk, not once were home at least. We have a bunch of extra rooms in the manor back North, so why dont we invite him to stay with us instead?

Really? Eyes wide with joy, Yan clutches my hand to her chest and pulls me up for a kiss, which once again brings me back to my lack of options. Im not saying I dont want to kiss her or I dont like what shes doing, but Im just not used to being... well... manhandled. You mean it? She asks, gnawing her lip in hesitation. But... its not customary for the brides family to live with the groom. Wont your parents and grandparents feel like Grandpa Du... I dont know, usurped their position?

I want to laugh, but after thinking it through, Im worried that might actually be a thing. I know Mom and Dad didnt love the idea of me moving out on my own, but they bought me a manor for my first marriage anyways. Besides, my parents are getting up there in years as well, so it wont be long before theyd move in with me regardless, or at least thats what Id assume would happen if Dad wasnt half-wolf and Mom wasnt a Martial Warrior. Will Akanai and Husolt want to move in with me? I hope not... Uh, not gonna lie, I never thought about it, but if theyre upset, I suppose we could always get a bigger house? Yans pained, yet amused look says it all, and I wave her concerns away. Look, I understand your concerns, but I also genuinely want to do this. For you.

Grandpa will be fine where he is. While true, I can tell Yan is only saying this because she doesnt want to shake things up, which is all sorts of wrong.

Yes, but hell be happier living with us, which means youll be happier too. Tweaking her nose, I smile at the memory of her bursting into tears while telling her beloved grandpa that nothing would change and that shed always be his granddaughter. It was so emotional and out of character for the calm and stoic Yan, who usually struts through life without a care in the world, I couldnt help but fall even deeper in love. Hes family, I say, instead of poking fun at her emotional vulnerabilities. Thats all that matters. So for now, lets just say hell be staying with us as a temporary measure, since it doesnt make sense for Grandpa Du to stay with Teacher when we have extra rooms at our house. Ill have to hire servants to care for Lin-Lin and Taduk, but thats easily done, and if Akanai, Husolt, Song, Mom, and Dad all want to move in, then thats fine too.

And hey, if that happens, then Alsantset and Charok can bring the twins back to live in Mom and Dads manor, and the whole family will be back together again. Theres nothing better than sitting around a giant table and sharing a meal with all your loved ones, and thats a fact.

My thoughtful efforts earn me a tender, grateful look from Yan, which is rare to say the least. Youre too good to me, she whispers, though honestly, it doesnt seem like all that much. Im inviting her aged grandfather to come live with us, not really a big deal or anything. But have you talked to Mila about this yet?

...No, and now that you mention it, I probably should, on account of marriage being a partnership and all that. In my defence, Ive only been married for like, forty days, and I spent half that time away from my wife, so Im still getting used to the whole thing. Whats more, Im not the most adaptable person in the world, considering it took about seven years for me to acclimate to the local customs, so I suppose Im in for a rough ride. Sitting up in bed, I say, If youre not in any rush, why dont we go see if Mila is up? She normally sleeps in, but considering she doesnt remember anything from her last trip here, she mightve asked Song to wake her early so they could go sightseeing together.

...Im not so sure this is such a great idea.

Dont worry. Throwing on a fashionable robe, I look around for a matching sash to bind it. This is why I hate the local fashions, it takes so much effort to get dressed. Shes not that grouchy in the mornings, and so long as youre careful, theres almost no risk of injury.

...Almost.

I dont mean going to wake Mila, Yan says, producing my sash from under the bed and helping me tie it around my waist. I mean bringing me to go see her, first thing in the morning. This morning in particular.

Something about her tone and expression raises alarms in my exhausted brain, and Yans message finally makes it through. Is something wrong? Is she upset because of our wedding? If so, she never said anything, and believe me, I asked. Repeatedly. Mostly because I couldnt believe that she was okay with this, but I suppose I shouldve gone with my gut instinct. Are you two okay?

Were fine. Smiling to soothe my worries, Yan straightens my collar and runs a hand through my hair, distracting herself from this difficult conversation. Or rather, she claims were fine. Better than fine, in fact, she says well be the best of friends and sister-wives, but the whole time, I felt like she wasnt being honest with herself. Sighing as she loops her arms loosely around my neck, Yan leans back and purses her lips. She tried her best to hide it, but I could tell Mila wasnt very happy at the wedding banquet last night, and Lin-Lin was doing her best to cheer her up.

Aint that a punch in the gut. I didnt even notice, though I was surprised by how little she ate and thought she was being especially indulgent with Song, who happily claimed all of Milas leftovers. So... you think you should avoid her?

Well, she is your first wife, after all, Yan jokes, though this time, I spot the hurt she hides so well. Gotta keep her happy.

Wrong. Well, youre right about keeping her happy, but not at the expense of your happiness. Shaking my head, I pull Yan close and lead her out of the room. Cmon. Were gonna have ourselves a talk with Mila.

God, I am the worst. I didnt even consider the fact that Mila was staying in the same manor, not to mention my sister, nephew, niece, parents, grandparents, future wives, and in-laws. Oh gods above, they must have heard everything, every last moan, groan, creak, squeak, pant, and wheeze. Well, now Im having second thoughts about having Grandpa Du come live with us, especially if it means everyone else will come live with us too. No, what I need is an estate, with several separate homes inside the same perimeter. Almost the same thing as living together, but with more than enough room between buildings to preserve a semblance of privacy...

Or I need to learn how to Conceal, put up Sound Barriers, and block Scrying so I never feel self-conscious again.

As we step out into the familiar surroundings of the same borrowed manor we stayed in last time, I stop cold in my tracks and look around, unsure of where Im supposed to go next. Err... you wouldnt happen to know which room Mila is staying in?

Not a clue. With repressed laughter seeping out of every pore, Yan coughs and says, I was a little too distracted last night to take note.

Thankfully, the mystery is solved as Song steps out of her room, with Princess, Aurie, Mama Bun, and Tawny One all hot on her heels. Stopping briefly to greet all my darling floofs, I head inside with Yan and find Mila lying prone in bed, with blankets haphazardly covering her lower half. With arms clutched tight around her pillow and eyes screwed shut in obvious effort, its clear deception is not listed amongst Milas many skills, as shes doing a poor job of pretending to sleep. Morning, beloved, I begin, pulling a reluctant Yan with me to take a seat on the bed. Did you sleep well?

No...

The stifling silence echoes through the air as a forceful, unspoken utterance of idiot sounds in our minds, and its all I can do not to run out of the room to escape from this awkward embarrassment. For too long, I sit and stew in the discomfort, and Yan and Mila are all too happy to let me, with one stifling her nervous, involuntary laughter while the other struggles to keep her anger in check. So, I begin, clutching Yans hand for support while gently stroking Milas hair, I think its long past time we all had a chat.

To my surprise, Mila doesnt put up a fight and sits up without prompting, fussing with her messy bed hair while trying not to glower. Naturally, my first instinct is to wrap my arm around her, since she neglected to bring her blanket with her and looks so exposed and vulnerable in her silken pyjamas. It isnt until after Ive pulled her into my arms that I realize Yan has pulled away, untangling her hand from mine in some sort of automatic, anti-intimacy response, as if she is somehow secondary to Mila. Pointedly shooting Yan a look, I throw my arm back and invite her to come cuddle as well, without hiding any of this from Mila. This is my fault, I begin, and they both shoot me a look which I am all too familiar with. They think Im an idiot for only noticing this now, and to be fair, theyre right. I was too focused on making this happen and all too happy to ignore what were clearly warning signs.

Since Yan seems adamant to sit apart and theres no point arguing with her when her minds made up, I consider my words carefully before speaking. Yan and I were talking just now, and she said something which I felt needed to be addressed. Yan, you are not my second wife. Feeling Mila tense up in my arms, I meet her eyes and say, Nor are you my second wife. There will be no first, second or third wife. Well, chronologically, there will, but what Im trying to say is I dont want any of you to concern yourselves with any type of hierarchy. Pulling the still reluctant Yan into my embrace, I squeeze them both tight to reinforce my point. You are my wives, and thats it. No primary and secondary, no legal or mistress, just Wife Mila and Wife Yan, or Wife Yan and Wife Mila. Same difference.

Neither one cares to respond, which is unsettling to say the least, so I loosen my embrace to look them both in the eyes. I want this to work, and I want you both to be happy, but Im not entirely sure how to go about it. To this end, I need you to be honest and tell me when something is bothering you, so I can do my best to make the problem go away.

Yan and Mila share a glance and roll their eyes before elbowing me away. Typical man, Mila declares, crossing her arms with a huff.

Lips pursed like a disappointed schoolteacher who thinks I should know better, Yan shakes her head and glowers. Always trying to fix the problem, instead of just leaving it be.

Theres no fixing this, Mila says, with a delightful pout. Were upset over having to share you, and thats not likely to change.

But we accept this, Yan continues, drawing attention back to her and making me feel like Im in the middle of a tennis match. So the least you could do is accept that we will be upset.

...Im confused. Leaning back so I can watch them both glare at the same time, I ask, So... you want me to do nothing while you stew in discontent?

Yes, they reply, still glaring in muted anger.

Even though youre unhappy because of me?

Yes.

The human body is a complex creation, but it has nothing on the minds of women. Tentatively nodding my head, I say, Alright, but I still want you both to be happy.

We know, Mila says, while Yan contents herself with snuggling in beside me. And I am, else I would never have agreed to marry you, but you need to accept that not everything is within your control, and you cant fix everything. Wrinkling her nose ever so adorably, she adds, And that doesnt just apply to our marriage either.

Interjecting before this becomes all about my flaws, I pull Mila in for a group hug and say, Fine, but I wont let you stay here and sulk. Come out and have breakfast with us, and then Ill take you sightseeing around Centrals Citadel. Defensively, its pretty terrible, but it has some very pretty architecture.

Though she does her best to look grumpy, Mila visibly cheers up at the invitation, while Yan deflates in my arms, no doubt thinking that I am favouring the first wife over the second. Thus, when Mila gets up to wash her face, I whisper, I know you planned to stay in bed all day, but I would literally shrivel up and die. Gimme a few hours to rest, and then well steal away for a bath, okay?

Yan relents, and Mila is pleased, but as we step outside, they trade yet another look and ask, What about Lin-Lin and Luo-Luo?

I guess the downside of a harem is Ill always be outnumbered in arguments, but I can live with that. Theyre still asleep.

But theyll feel left out if you dont at least invite them, Yan says, gently shoving me away before linking arms with Mila.

Yans right. You usually make it up to Lin-Lin, but you always neglect poor Luo-Luo. Disapproving of my dismissive eye roll, Mila huffs and says, A fine husband you are, talking about how it pains you to see us hurt while ignoring your concubine. She works so hard to please and impress you, yet you never take the time to get to know her. Holding up a hand to forestall my arguments, Mila adds, And dont even claim to have tried. Yes, you invited her on your trip here and to the Southern Citadel, but you knew she wouldnt be able to make it.

Plus, shes gorgeous, Yan unhelpfully supplies, though the dreamy glint in her eyes makes me hopeful for the future.

I dont understand. The familiar phrase comes all too easily these days, and I pretend not to notice my wives hidden smirks. Youre upset because you have to share me with each other, but youre also upset because you dont have to share me with Luo-Luo?

This is this, Mila declares, And that is that. The two have nothing to do with one another.

...Okay. I dont think Ill ever understand, but then again, I dont think Im equipped to do so. Ill go wake Luo-Luo and Lin-Lin to see if they want to come with.

Aggrieved and frustrated as I am, I cant deny that Milas right. I havent really been giving Luo-Luo a fair chance, despite saying I would many, many, many times, but deep-seated trust issues dont go away just because you tell them to, and Im not entirely sure theyre not warranted. Like, why is Luo-Luo even interested in me? Yes, she didnt choose to become my concubine, but that didnt stop her from throwing herself at me before bothering to get to know me, so it raises the question: does she actually like me and enjoy my company, or is she just trying to make the best of a bad situation?

It doesnt help that Luo-Luo is so god-damned gorgeous. Dont get me wrong, Mila and Yan are both beautiful beyond belief, and Lin-Lin is so adorable I could die, but Luo-Luo goes even further through the magic of makeup and fashion, which makes her beauty so... intimidating. I dont get how she does it, or know what it is she even does, but theres something about the way she simply exists that makes it hard to believe she truly enjoys my company. Like why would she love me?At least with Yan, Mila, and Lin-Lin, I can inwardly cringe at how I mightve inadvertently or unconsciously groomed them from their youth, but Luo-Luo was a grown ass woman when I first met her, and she should most definitely know better.

...Okay, so maybe this isnt entirely Luo-Luos fault, and my issues with self-esteem and fear of intimacy may have something to do with my inability to accept Luo-Luo. Gimme a break brain, Im working on it, but in case you havent noticed, Ive got a pretty full plate here. Not only do I need to navigate through the obstacles in my marriage with Yan and Mila, Ive also been managing a pretty big project with War Bonds, property flipping, and the introduction of concrete, all while researching Taiyi ZhuShens notes on body strengthening, Zhen Shis notes on Demonification, and Broken Blade Pichais scant words on Core repair in hopes of discovering some way to fix my Core before Im old and grey, so excuse me if Ive let a few things slip through the cracks, like my love life with Luo-Luo and my growing cattle herd...

God, the cattle. I really need to figure out what Im going to do with them, or else Im going to end up having to slaughter some of them. People think, Oh, theyre just cattle, those are slaughtered for food all the time, but theyre my cattle and I want them to live full and happy lives...

One thing at a time, Rain. One thing at a time. First, knock on Luo-Luos door and invite her to breakfast and sightseeing. Then ask Mila about letting Grandpa Du stay with us when we get back home. Next... well, Ill figure it out as I go. Its mostly worked for me thus far, so why sweat the small stuff? I see no reason why Grandpa Du cant come live with us, and if Mom, Dad, Akanai, and Husolt want to come too, then the more the merrier. Whats important is how to subtly suggest Mila and Yan deepen their friendship by taking things to the next level and making a Rain sandwich. Yea, yea, disgusting, chauvinistic, perverted desires, blah blah blah. Whatever. Im over all that guilt. We married now. They agreed to this, and we all knew where this was going, and I for one am not ashamed of my desires.

Scratch that, I am deeply ashamed, but I cant help it. This is who I am: a paranoid, neurotic, perverted, old man in a younger mans body, and Ive mostly come to terms with this. Whats the point of being reborn if all Im gonna do is wallow in angst? Might as well enjoy life where I can, and if I die wrapped in the arms and legs of two beautiful women, then I will have lived a life worth living.

For I am Falling Rain, husband to Mila and Yan, which is just all kinds of awesome.

End of Volume 32

Chapter Meme