Savage Divinity

Chapter 425

Three loincloths are sitting in a tea house. What do they talk about?...Nothing, theyre stuck up assholes.

It took a moment for the punchline to register, but once it did, Jorani cackled with surprised amusement. His drunken crew were only a heartbeat behind and soon they were all chortling at the bossmans joke, crude and tawdry just like they liked em. Jinoe in particular seemed delighted by the one-liner, which was a relief considering his recent fascination with gallows humour. Itd been amusing at first, but after the third time Jinoe snuck a decapitated head into someones bedroll, Jorani wondered if it was time he stepped in.

He didnt, mostly because it was fucking hilarious, but still he thought about it.

When his laughter died down, Jinoe said, My turn, my turn. Whats the bossman got in common with a pussy?

The tension thickened and silence palpable as the crowd shut their mouths and shifted in discomfort. Glancing at the still smiling bossman, Jorani wondered if Jinoe had survived Sinuji only to end up hanging from a nearby tree branch, but the bossman had skin thicker than SuiHuas new walls and a dirtier mind than the lowest-born scoundrel among them. One slip of the tongue, he answered, grinning like a wolf, And youre in deep shit.

A pause, then the crowd howled with laughter, Jinoe loudest of all. Giddy with relief, Jorani refilled the bossmans winecup with a grateful nod. Noticing Jorani didnt have a cup of his own, the bossman raised an eyebrow in silent question, but Jorani merely shook his head. Drowning your sorrows was a slippery slope hed only just climbed up from and he wasnt in no hurry to slide back down again.

If only he couldve shared the lesson with Awdar

Shivering despite the afternoon heat, the drug-deprived scout sat in the middle of the crowd, where they could all keep an eye on him. With pale skin and sunken eyes, handsome Awdar appeared half-dead and miserable as he hugged a bucket to his chest, oblivious to the mirth and cheer around him. Theyd never been the best of friends, but Jorani sympathized with the man, an old comrade from the Freebooters who made it all the way here. Awdar had earned a gash on his brow and a gap in his teeth when the bossman came to burn his drugs, but there was no more anger left in the lanky raider and it hurt Jorani to see him like this. They had all indulged in Pearl Dust, Tiger Balm, Sludge, or other such street tonics at one point or another, but Awdar had gotten hooked on Dream Smoke, a higher class of drug much stronger than he was accustomed to. Despite throwing the dried leaves into a campfire on an open field, the smoke had still made Jorani a little numb and woozy, leaving him to wonder what itd feel like to grind and snort it like Awdar had been doing.

Then again, upon seeing him vomit another belly full of water, Jorani was pretty sure nothing would be worth this.

Unable to ignore Awdars watery spewing, the crowds mood soured as they were none too happy to see their comrades torment. The front lines had been hard on all of them and few blamed Awdar for turning to his vices. Hell, most thought a hit of Dream Smoke before battle made him an even tougher son of a bitch than normal, an unstoppable warrior who knew no fear and felt no pain. Even without it he was one of the toughest bastards in Joranis crew, coming in third after Ral and Erkin, which was surprising considering his hunched posture and gangly frame. Was Dream Smoke really so terrible to make all this suffering worth it?

Borrowing a water-skin to wet a clean handkerchief, the bossman crouched down and wiped Awdars face, with as much gentle care as he gave his pets. Youre probably cursing me out right about now, he said, holding the water-skin to Awdars lips so he could drink. I dont blame you. This doesnt look pleasant, but it is necessary.

Speaking for the first time since theyd burned his drugs, Awdar gazed at the bossman with tear-filled eyes. Boss please I need it dying...

Youre not dying. Tearing a small piece off a plain steamed bun, the bossman popped it into Awdars mouth. You just feel like you are. Thats what Dream Smoke does. It tricks your body into thinking you need it to survive, like you need to breathe or sleep.

Cant do this... Awdars pitiful moan drilled a hole through Joranis chest, and he dug his feet in just to keep from walking away. Expensive though it might be, Dream Smoke was readily available in SuiHua to anyone with enough coin, and Jorani had enough to spare. This was too much, hed seen people who were actually dying suffer less than Awdar.

You can and you will. Wholly without remorse, the bossman continued stuffing bits of bun and pouring water into Awdars mouth. Its not interfering with your duties yet, but this addiction will make you worthless. I need a soldier, not a junkie.

Fuck you! His misery turned to fury, Awdar sprayed a mouthful of soggy bun into the bossmans face, his angular face ugly with rage. Fuck you and fuck yer fight! Burn in the Fathers Maw, ye shit-eatin midget. Ill rip yer head off and shit down your throat if ye like it so much. Ill...

Unperturbed by Awdars tantrum, the bossman calmly wiped his face and picked soggy bits of bread out of the handkerchief before shoving it and his fist into Awdars mouth. Now listen here. There was no anger in the bossmans voice, only cold honesty. If you cant handle the battlefield, then thats fine. This life is not for everyone and theres no shame in walking away. You say the word and Ill have you on the first ship heading north with papers for passage back to Sanshu, Shen Huo, or wherever else you want to go. Leaning in to stare Awdar in the eyes, the bossman added, After you kick this habit. Ill not watch a man kill himself, not while hes still a part of my retinue. You want to poison yourself, then do it where I wont see it.

From their dark looks and muted exchanges, Jorani could see his crew didnt like the sound of this and feared the bossman was making a big mistake. Remembering how reasonable he was the last time Jorani spoke up, he cleared his throat and said, Bossman, not fer nothing, but dont ye think this is goin too far? We all seen Awdars had a bit of a problem, but he aint ever let it get in the way of proper business.

Yet. Giving up on trying to feed Awdar, the bossman stood up and gestured at the poor, gagging bastard, his stomach so empty there was nothing left to throw up. Hes managed without incident so far, but if we wait until it becomes a problem, then its already too late. What happens if he takes too much during break time and is still loaded on sentry duty? Or if he burns through his stash half-way through our next patrol? What happens when his drug-addled brain cant differentiate between his own thoughts and the Fathers whispered lies? Shaking his head, the bossman sighed and said, I understand the need to unwind, but keep within reason. Balance isnt just about meditation and Chi, but something you should seek out in all aspects of life. Drink, smoke, snort, or whatever, but do it in moderation. I cant set hard limits because I dont know where those limits lie, but do you really think Awdar is okay like this? How longs it been since we burned his drugs and made him flush his system clean?

Checking his jewel-encrusted pocket-watch, Jorani found the answer surprising. Round four hours.

Which shows Awdars problem is a lot worse than any of us knew. The signs are easy to hide so long as he keeps feeding the addiction, but once he stops, this happens. Crouching once again, the bossman looked Awdar in the eyes and said, I know this is difficult and you think Im being unfair in singling you out. Youre not the only one with a habit, not by a long shot, but youre the only one Ive noticed spiraling out of control. Raising his voice to address the onlooking crowd, he continued, Things havent been easy, but well get through this together, no matter the consequence. I meant what I said. I am proud to fight alongside you all, but there is no shame in stepping away. Mother knows I wish I could, but I cant. If any of you feel like you cant or dont want to keep fighting, then come to me and Ill send you home with a smile. Even the Death Corps, Bossman added, giving a pointed look at his elite, Imperial Bodyguards before his expression turned dark. But be warned. Whatever your vice, keep it under control, because if you fuck up and get someone else killed, Ill hang you myself. Understood?

Yes Sir!

Everyone in ear-shot answered in unison as the bossman stalked away, and Jorani thanked his lucky star that hed only been hooked on the drink. Taking a seat next to Awdar, he took over feeding the poor bastard while Ronga switched out the soiled vomit bucket for a clean one. Patting the lanky raider on the back, Jorani breathed deep through his mouth and said, You remember how we met the bossman? How he took down the Freebooters with a wagon of poisoned wine?

Y-yea. Awdar snarled and said, Shit so much I thought my innards were gonna slide out.

You think that was worse, or is this?

The question earned Jorani a feeble chuckle, though Awdar immediately vomited after. While chewing on a piece of bun, the sickly raider shook his head and said, Fuckin hell Jorani. Back then, I was a hot-shit killer and you was just a scrawny scavenger. Look at us now. Didnt know it then, but yer a tough bastard.

You ferget about my demotion? Was drunk as a lordling in a whore house fer a week straight when I first found out we were headed for the front lines.

Howd ye get over it then?

Awdars haunted gaze made Jorani wish he had a better answer, but all he could do was shrug and say, Bossman sat me down, set me right, and gave me the same choice he gave you. Almost took him up on it too. Figured Id head back and get hired on to guard the bossmans caravans or something.

So whyd you stay?

Jorani shrugged again, because he really didnt have a good answer, or at least he thought he didnt. Most commanders wouldve hung me and moved on, but he said he wanted me fighting at his side. Me, plain old Jorani, standing shoulder to shoulder with Falling Rain, and hes the one whos proud. Crazy right? Cept he means it, which makes me want to live up to his expectations and be worthy of his pride. Another shrug. But you gotta decide whats best fer you. Aint a bad life working fer the bossman. Plenty of our old friends are still back north, guarding caravans and warehouses and whatnot. Or maybe you try yer hand at farmin or something, I dunno. Do know this though. With all the gravity he could muster, Jorani said, Ye aint half as pretty as ye think ye are, so ye certainly wont make nuff to eat if yere set on turnin tricks.

Awdar threw up again before responding with a groan. Ah, fuck you. Quit makin me laugh. Fucking hurts. After a long pause, he whispered, I couldnt sleep, ye know? Thats why I turned to Dream Smoke. Every time I closed my eyes, Id see them there in the darkness. Those I killed, those who almost killed me, haunting me. Not just Defiled but others too. The farmers and fisher-folk, the merchants and wagon drivers, anyone and everyone I put to rest. Theyd be there, staring and accusing, tryin to drag me down into the Fathers Maw with em. I aint a good man and aint ever tried to be, but all this fightin You think She wont want me?

Luckily, Awdar moved on to another topic before Jorani could put together a coherent answer. He stayed with Awdar for another hour, but the man only got progressively worse. Resting his head on the edge of his bucket, he sobbed and mewled incoherently as the withdrawal pangs intensified, though Jorani thought he heard the poor bastard begging for death more than once. The mood grew heavy as Awdar went on about his flaws and faults, about the people hed killed and punishments he deserved, his nightmares given voice in his time of suffering. Something wasnt right, but Jorani couldnt say what, just a sense of wrongness about the proceedings, an unsettling discomfort which had nothing to do with Awdars sobbing or the stench of his vomit. Joranis skin crawled as the world darkened around him, as if the poor bastards litany of sins had been given form and blanketed the area in a shroud of gloom and despair. The feeling got so bad, he sent Ral to get the bossman just to be safe, but oddly enough, Awdar quieted down seconds before the bossman reached his side. Placing a steaming pot down in front of him, the bossman checked Awdars pulse and pupils before turning to Jorani. Im gonna go get Teacher and ask him to take a look, but I think Awdars okay. If he wakes up, try to feed him and lift his spirits.

Without waiting for an answer, the bossman darted away, so Jorani lifted the pot lid to see what was inside. Winter-melon chicken soup, not done as fancily as the restaurants back in Nan Ping, but it certainly smelled better, its pleasant aroma overpowering the sour stench of Awdars puke bucket. Stomach growling with hunger, Jorani figured there was no way the sickly raider would ever finish the entire pot, so he poured himself a bowl to enjoy.

Whats that? Waking at the worst time possible, Awdar lifted his head and smacked his dried lips, eyes locked on the bowl of fragrant soup. Smells good.

Swallowing his disappointment, Jorani helped Awdar sit up straight and held the bowl to his mouth. Sure does. You in luck, because this is fresh cooked soup made by the bossman himself. Drink up. The Medical Saint will be comin by to check on ye soon enough, so try not to throw up on him, yea?

After slurping down half a bowl, Awdar sat back and sighed. Delicious soup and a Healer? Me own mum never treated me half this good.

Resisting the urge to finish the bowl, Jorani chuckled and said, I hear ye. Way I see it, aint no one know whats gonna happen after ye die, but I know fer a fact the bossmanll treat us right, dead or alive. Better than we deserve, if Im bein honest.

Suppose yer right. Nodding his head, Awdar looked much recovered after half a bowl of soup, leaving Jorani to wonder what in the hell went into making it. Cant be lettin him down, now can I?

Sure, but soldierin on aint the way to make him proud. Patting his friend on the back, Jorani said, You do whats right fer you and show him you were worth the effort. Dont matter if its as a soldier, guard, farmer, or even a whore, you live yer life happy and thats how yell pay him back.

You happy Jor? Bein a soldier?

Sure am. Happier once I get me a taste of this soup.

And the strange thing was, Jorani wasnt lying. Despite all the fighting, killing, and almost dying, he really was happy. As a soldier, he served a purpose in fighting off the Defiled, and not only was he getting stronger with each passing day, he had the bossmans trust and command of his squad back. He hadnt seen the old bastard since their meeting in Nan Ping, Daxian kept to himself, and nowadays, Jorani was closer with his lovely little sisters than ever. Time was, playing house wouldve had Jorani running for the hills, but there was something nice about sitting down for a meal with Sorya and Anrhi without trying to get into their dresses. Not to say hed stopped trying entirely, but it was nice to have a family again and know there were people waiting for his safe return.

And maybe, just maybe, his little sisters would help Jorani find a proper wife. His options were looking slim now that he knew Kimi and Siyar were a thing. Ciro only had eyes for Ravil and A-Gui was crazy if she thought Jorani was going to fight Wang Bao for her affection, which left precious few single and age appropriate women in the retinue. Maybe he ought to expand his horizons and see if Sai Chou wanted a drink or five. She couldnt be too much older, maybe early thirties, early forties at the most, but it was hard to tell underneath all the dirt and blood. Still, she seemed like an earnest woman, albeit one far too devoted to turtles for his tastes, but if he wanted a woman to protect him, then Sai Chou was undoubtedly the strongest in the retinue, an axe-wielding, Aura Capable, Expert waiting for Jorani to sweep her off her feet.

Right after Awdar stopped throwing up. Such were the sacrifices a scout leader must make, putting the health and safety of his crew before his own happiness.

Chapter Meme