Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

Liria sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Ananara."

Ananara tilted his leafy top smugly. "Admit it, you'd be lost without me."

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"Lost in sanity, maybe," Liria shot back, stretching out on her bed.

Before Ananara could retort, the system chimed in her mind. [Productive banter aside, Liria, I suggest you address your fluctuating emotional state. Anger levels: concerning. Control: tenuous. This is not optimal for long-term survival.]

"Gee, thanks for the pep talk, Captain Obvious," Liria muttered aloud.

"Talking to yourself again?" Ananara piped up, suspiciously. "Not weird at all, nope."

Ignoring him, Liria flopped onto her pillow and stared at the ceiling. "Okay, fine, System. What's the grand plan, then? How do I stop feeling like a ticking time bomb?"

[Acknowledging the problem is the first step,] the system offered. [The second is controlled training, meditation, and self-awareness. Alternatively, I could provide you with a step-by-step guide to complete world domination. Low-stress leadership, minimal panic.]

"Tempting," she deadpanned, "but hard pass on the tyranny-for-dummies option."

Ananara jumped onto her chest with a hefty thud, knocking the air out of her. "What you need, my dear chaotic overlord-in-denial, is a distraction. Something fun. Something to remind you you're still semi-normal."

Liria groaned, shoving him off her. "What's your idea of fun? Lectures on pineapple superiority?"

"Actually, yes," Ananara replied, deadly serious. "But we'll save that for later. Why not prank Enara? She's such an easy target, and watching her huff and puff would be therapeutic for everyone involved."

Liria rubbed her temples. "I don't think annoying Enara counts as therapy."

"It's free," Ananara quipped. "Unlike actual therapy, which you clearly need."

Liria sighed, rubbing her temples. "Fine. Let's hear it. What's this brilliant prank idea of yours?"

Ananara puffed out his leafy top proudly. "Simple. We're going to convince Enara that her room is haunted."

Liria arched an eyebrow. "Haunted? Seriously? That's your big plan?"

"Don't underestimate the classics," Ananara said. "All we need is a little creativity, a lot of commitment, and preferably something slimy to maximize the effect."

"I hate that I'm even considering this," Liria muttered, getting up from the bed. "But fine. What's step one, oh great pineapple mastermind?"

"Step one," Ananara began, his tone conspiratorial, "is to get into her room while she's busy. Step two: make it creepy. Move stuff around. Whisper her name ominously. Maybe leave some glowing marks on the walls."

"And step three?"

Ananara grinned. "Step three is profit. Or, in this case, pure, unadulterated chaos."

Liria crossed her arms, her lips twitching into a reluctant smirk. "Alright, but if this backfires, I'm blaming you."

"You wound me, Liria," Ananara said dramatically. "Now, to the armory!"

"Armory?"

"Fine, the kitchen. I need flour, a bowl of water, and maybe a spoon for ambiance."

Liria shook her head but followed him anyway.

A short while later, the two stood in Enara's pristine room. It was impeccably organized, with everything from books to jewelry arranged like a royal showcase.

"This feels wrong," Liria muttered, glancing around.

"That's the guilt talking," Ananara said dismissively. "Now, grab that chair and tilt it just enough to make her wonder if she's losing her mind."

Liria complied, tilting the chair at an unsettling angle. "Okay, now what?"

Ananara pointed to the bookshelf. "Pull out a few books and stack them upside down. Make it look like they were moved in a rush."

"Are you sure this won't just make her think someone's redecorating badly?"

"Trust the process," Ananara said, hopping onto her shoulder for a better view.

As Liria set to work, the system chimed in. [A tactical analysis of this prank suggests a 60% chance of enraging Enara, a 30% chance of her ignoring it, and a 10% chance of her crying.]

"Those odds don't make me feel great," Liria whispered.

[Statistically, chaos is inevitable.]

"Helpful as always," she muttered.

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Ananara asked suspiciously.

"Focus, pineapple," Liria shot back, grabbing a piece of chalk. She drew jagged symbols on the floor, making sure they looked cryptic and menacing.

"Excellent," Ananara said, surveying the scene like a proud artist. "Now, for the pièce de résistance."

"And that is...?"

Ananara pulled out a small jar of something sticky he'd swiped from the kitchen. "Ghost slime. Well, technically honey, but it'll look spooky when it drips."

"You're deranged," Liria said, taking the jar and smearing a thin trail on the wall.

"Deranged genius," Ananara corrected.

The trap was set, and the two retreated to the hallway, peeking around the corner as Enara approached her room.

"What are you two doing?" Enara asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Liria said, a little too quickly.

"Absolutely nothing," Ananara added, not helping.

Enara gave them a long, skeptical look before pushing open her door. She froze.

"What... what is this?" she whispered, staring at the tilted chair, the upside-down books, and the dripping honey trail on the wall. Her eyes landed on the chalk symbols, and her face turned pale.

Liria bit her lip to keep from laughing as Enara slowly backed out of the room.

"Is this... is this some kind of joke?" Enara demanded, turning to Liria.n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

"What? No! I mean, why would you think that?" Liria said, struggling to keep a straight face.

"It's haunted," Ananara declared solemnly, bobbing his leafy head. "Clearly, your room has been claimed by a vengeful ghost. Probably one with excellent handwriting, judging by those symbols."

Enara glared at him. "You're not funny, pineapple."

"Oh, but I am," Ananara said, grinning. "And so are you—for sleeping in a cursed room!"

Enara's composure cracked just a little, and she took another cautious step back. "This better not be one of your stupid pranks, Liria."

"Me? Prank you? Never," Liria said, feigning innocence.

Enara looked back at her room, her hands balling into fists. "If I find out you had anything to do with this, I swear—"

The sound of a book thudding to the floor interrupted her. She jumped, her eyes wide as she stared at the bookshelf.

"Did you see that?" she whispered.

Ananara leaned toward Liria. "Did you do that?" he whispered.

"No," Liria whispered back, suddenly unsure.

The air seemed to grow colder, and the chalk symbols on the floor began to glow faintly.

"System," Liria hissed in her mind. "What's happening?"

[Unknown anomaly detected. Recommend evacuation. Immediately.]

"Evacuation?!" she whispered aloud.

"What? What evacuation?" Enara demanded.

"I think... I think maybe this prank wasn't such a great idea," Liria admitted, her voice trembling.

Enara's face turned red. "What did you do?!"

Before Liria could respond, the chalk symbols flared brighter, and a gust of wind blew through the room, scattering the books.

"Run!" Ananara yelled, leaping from Liria's shoulder.

The three bolted down the hallway, leaving the haunted room behind.

"Next time," Enara shouted, her voice laced with fury, "you're both DEAD!"

"Totally worth it," Ananara said, laughing hysterically as they sprinted away.

The trio didn't stop running until they reached one of the castle's grand sitting rooms, a space cluttered with plush cushions, gilded furniture, and absolutely no signs of glowing runes or rogue winds. Liria collapsed onto a velvet chaise, clutching her sides as she tried to catch her breath.

"I regret... so many life choices," she wheezed, her voice trembling between exhaustion and laughter.

Ananara hopped onto the coffee table, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "That was brilliant! Did you see her face when the books fell? She nearly fainted!"

"That wasn't funny, you deranged pineapple!" Enara stomped into the room, her dark hair disheveled and her midnight eyes blazing. She pointed a shaking finger at Liria. "You! You set me up!"

"Okay, hold on," Liria said, sitting up and raising her hands in mock surrender. "It started as a harmless prank, I swear. But then the symbols started glowing, and things got... weird."

"Weird?" Enara repeated, incredulous. "My room just tried to eat me, Liria!"

"It wasn't the room!" Liria protested, though her argument was weak, given the glowing runes and poltergeist-like theatrics.

Enara crossed her arms, fuming. "I can't believe I trusted you!"

Liria winced. "Look, I didn't think it would—"

"System," she whispered in her mind, her voice laced with desperation. "What was that back there?"

[Analysis inconclusive. The anomaly appears unrelated to your prank setup. However, the symbols and activity may suggest residual energy tied to your magic.]

"Residual energy? Like, my flames?"

[Possibly. Or your subconscious. Or, worst case, something far older than you playing games.]

Liria groaned internally. "Helpful as always."

"What are you muttering about?" Enara demanded, snapping her fingers in Liria's face.

"Nothing!" Liria said quickly, plastering on an unconvincing grin. "Just, uh, trying to figure out how to make this up to you."

"Oh, you'll make it up to me," Enara growled, leaning in closer. "Starting with cleaning up every last trace of whatever... that was in my room!"

Liria gulped. "Yeah. Sure. No problem."

"Good," Enara said sharply, turning on her heel. She paused at the door, throwing one last glare over her shoulder. "And if I wake up tonight and hear so much as a whisper, Liria Silverthorn, I will personally make sure you regret it."

The door slammed behind her, leaving Liria and Ananara in silence.

"She's fun when she's mad," Ananara said cheerfully.

"She's going to kill me," Liria muttered, flopping back onto the chaise.

"Eh, probably," Ananara said, shrugging his leafy top. "But look on the bright side at least you're not boring."

Liria groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes. "Why do I let you talk me into these things?"

"Because deep down, you know I'm right," Ananara said smugly. "Now, what's our next adventure?"

"Next?" Liria sat up, glaring at him. "Are you kidding me? I'm going into hiding!"

Ananara chuckled. "Good luck with that. You're the least subtle person I know."