Chapter 292: I have been chosen. [1/2]
Before I could notice, our surroundings suddenly changed. Xander and Raymond said nothing and sat down. We were currently in an open-air balcony of a house in the mountains.
"What the hell?" I could only mumble in surprise.
"Sit down boy, this will take a while. What are you bastards having?"
" I'm fine with anything."
"Tsk, your always full of shit Xander, are Cardinals allowed to drink? Old man, get me a glass of Scotch! The best you got."
In the middle of the balcony was a wooden picnic table. We had quite a view of the magnificent sky.
There are no other structures, and I can't hear the sounds of wildlife or other people. Just where the fuck were we?
Roland came back and brought each of us a glass. He also had a bottle of what I thought was Scotch. Having been poor most of my life, I usually bought the cheapest beer available.
I used to drink Budweiser, but the recent Bud Light fiasco caused me to switch to Miller High Life.
Who would have thought that a beer made famous for being manly would lose its customer base after what they did. But then again, Americans were not very smart people in general.
'I mean, Corona took a hit because the dumb fucks thought drinking the beer would give you the virus. While we had smart people. We also have a lot of dumb people.'
As they were handing out drinks, I remembered I still had the weizenbier I got from Isolde. I called for a can and poured it into the glass Roland gave me.
"Aren't you a paranoid little shit? You think I'm going to poison you, boy?"
Xander commented as he drank his glass in one go. "He has a {Fate} that detoxifies poison, otherwise he would have gone into a coma from {Liquid Metal} by now."
Ignoring their comments, I took the time to calm down and tried to contact the Sirens.
[Everyone? Can you hear me? Can you hear me at all?]
But no one answered. It felt strange. I started my Reaper life alone, but just a few days with them had me worrying about them all the time.
Raymond slammed his glass down as he pointed at me.
"Stop that, you fucking bastard! Sending signals around here means shit. Your radio waves are annoying to listen to!"
Dumbfounded, I looked at the Specter and asked in confusion.
"You can hear radio transmissions? I thought you were called Whirlwind or something?"
"Ugh, this stupid motherfucker, what do you think radio waves use to travel? Anything that needs air to do anything, I can control, detect, or hinder. That is what my {Fate}, {Lord of Wind}, does," Raymond Gertrude replied in annoyance.
Roland slammed his mug down on the table while wiping his mouth with his forearm. Contrary to the glasses he had given us, he drank from a large beer mug like a Viking.
"Enough with the chitchat. Anyway, before I start explaining. Boy, Xander and Raymond attacked you to test your resolve. After all, what they have to say is a matter not even known to most Specters."
"And yet they want to tell me? Why? I am about to murder the army of one and steal the servants of another. From my point of view, their hostility towards me is justified," I replied coldly.
No matter what these bastards wanted to tell me, our conflicts would not be resolved in the slightest. However, contrary to what I expected, neither of them took my words as a provocation and continued their drinks in silence.
Roland began to chuckle as he commented in passing.
"Boy, you really should change the way you look at Reapers. For anyone above the rank of Phantom, giving a rat's ass about anything is a chore."
"What?"
What the hell was that old man trying to say? Were the lives of those below them really so worthless? Were all Specters like these assholes?
"Roland, he won't understand if you don't clarify your words." Xander corrected cryptically.
The Savior's commander swirled his drink as he looked at the glass with a sad expression.
"John Smith. Do you have what it takes to become a Specter?"
"A Reaper must give up his memories," I explained briefly.
"Correct. Then what happens to reapers who lose their memories? Especially those that form who they once were?"
"..."
Although I knew the answer, I failed to see how it related to what was going on. Of course, losing those memories would change who you were. Memories were what made up personalities.
Regrets, like desires, were all formed by the experiences that shaped them. I already suspected that Isolde had the same fears, so she chose to no longer move forward.
"The fucking brat probably figured it out to some extent. But let me say it anyway."
After his fierce declaration, Raymond emptied his glass as if preparing himself.
"Listen, you fucking brat. You shed your humanity to become a Phantom, but you forget your past as a human to become a Specter. That is the only time you will truly become a reaper. The only memories you will have will be of the people who are still alive."
I already knew that. Isolde couldn't forget Tristan, so she chose her memories over becoming stronger. Seeing my bored expression, Raymond made a forlorn face as he continued.
"Since Specters do not age, in time everyone you knew as a human will die. And with them will go all your memories. That much is expected. But it also applies to Reapers.
"That means no matter how many friendships or lovers you make, the moment they die, you will forget them all."
"..."
I already knew this, so why did they keep repeating it?
The whirlwind brushed his hair in annoyance as he pointed at me.
"Why are you fighting to close Hellsgate, brat?"
"I..."
When I thought of the reason, it started when I saw the Siren's cry.
Seeing Bella lamenting her grim fate in Hell Gate.
Jo and Jasmine sobbing their hearts out over being abandoned.
Robyn, Aki, and Liv nearly dying after being cast aside.
Lilly's explanation of the hopeless situation in Hellsgate.
Unknowingly, my goals have changed. My original plan was just to see how far I could go. Things kept getting added on as I met more people. But in the end, my reasons were simple.
"Because I want to."
Roland, who heard my words, began guffawing in earnest. Even Xander joined in. Raymond made a "what the fuck" face before continuing.
"If that's true, then good for you. Most of us did, no. Had a reason. But when the person tied to that reason died, we lost the will to continue this... fucking whatever this is."
"..."
I see. It was a truth that looked me in the eye. If even the death of your comrades affected what you had in your soul, with enough deaths, most of the Specters would be empty shells.
People similar to amnesiacs, who knew nothing about who they were or what they did.
Xander then pulled out a picture and showed it to me.
"This is my supposed wife. According to what I wrote in my journal, I became a reaper for her. We were deeply in love, but had no children. When we both became Specters, we wrote our love story in a series of books. So that we would never forget each other."