Kitsune in the Shadows

Chapter 50 – A Worried Goddess

[Ovia POV]

Did I do the right thing?

…

What if-?

No…

I can’t think like that.

I need to…

…

What exactly do I need to do?!

My hand reached up to my hair clip by itself, my fingers gliding across the smooth surface as my mind raced, considering everything that I could have done differently.

“I quite like what the little kitsune did with your hair,” Ellaria said as she came up behind me, “She might have a hidden talent that she doesn’t even know about.”

“… H-how are you n-not worried?” I asked, my hands starting to shake.

“Hmm… What do you mean?” She sat down next to me, placing one of her tails in my lap.

“D-did I do the… r-right thing? What if s-she gets hurt again?…” I instinctually ran my fingers through Ellaria’s tail, “M-maybe I should have kept her h-here? W-what if it goes wrong again?”

Ellaria pulled me into a hug before she responded, “You sound more and more like that little kitsune every time she visits,” She chuckled slightly, “I know you were watching when they took her back-”

“But…” I interrupted, “W-what if?…”

“Oh, sister, what are you so worried about? You know she’s a smart girl. Even if the worst were to happen, she would be able to take care of herself.”

“… W-what about the other t-two? What if they c-change?”

“And why do you think they would change?” She asked, a confused expression spread across her face.

“B-because K-Kierra ran away,” I buried my face in Ellaria’s tail, “W-what if they feel… b-betrayed?”

“Sister… the little kitsune was only away from them for a few hours,” She gently lifted my face out of her tails, “They’re not going to suddenly hate her or anything because of that. You’ve seen how they have treated her. You know that they are good people.”

“I just… don’t want h-her to get h-hurt… n-not again,” tears started welling up in my eyes, “I-I already did that t-to her before! I c-can’t let it happen again!”

Ellaria didn’t respond and just let me cry into her shoulder until I eventually tired myself out.

“Sometimes I think you care about that little kitsune a little too much,” She said, lifting me off her shoulder, “Why don’t you start worrying about yourself just as much?”

“…”

“You know… it’s hard for me to help you if you suddenly choose to be silent?”

“…”

But I don’t know what to say.

I just… can’t help but worry about her.

Ellaria’s expression softened, “Alright, let’s try talking about something else then… How about… What do you want to do the next time the little kitsune comes to visit?”

“…”

What do I want to do?…

I…

I want to make her happy, not like this time.

I don’t want to watch her cry like that again.

…

“I-I want to m-make her smile!” I blurted out.

“There you are,” Ellaria once again pulled me into a hug, “That’s more like the little sister I remember.”

“B-but we’re twins!”

She just laughed in response, jostling me around a bit as she did, “You should show this cute side of yours to the little kitsune. I’m sure she’d love it just as much as I do.”

But I’m a Goddess…

I can’t show her that.

“Sister, I can almost hear your thoughts,” She said, “I really can’t wait until you finally break out of your shell so everyone else can see just how adorable you are.”

I couldn’t help but blush at her words, “B-but I’m not…”

“But you are,” She ran her fingers through my tail, making me flinch, “I’m sure if that little kitsune called you adorable, you wouldn’t argue back like this.”

If Kierra…

What if she did?

What should I?…

“N-no, I’m a G-Goddess. I-I’m not a-adorable.”

“Why can’t you be both?” Ellaria asked, her hand moving to another one of my tails.

…

Why can’t I… be both?…

…

…

“I just can’t!” I stood up in order to stop Ellaria from playing with my tails, “I-I’m the G-Goddess of Darkness and D-Dreams. I-I’m not supposed to be adorable.”

“Sister, I think you forgot something. You’re not just the Goddess of Darkness and Dreams,” Ellaria chuckled, “What about-”

No! Not that!

At that moment, my heart started to race, and I leapt towards Ellaria, knocking her off the chair and cupping my hands over her mouth to stop her from speaking.

“Y-you’re not supposed to say it!” I shouted, panicking, “W-What if someone is listening?!”

If that got out…

What would I do?!

I-I can’t let anyone know!

Ellaria slowly pushed my hand away, “I really don’t know how you’ve managed to keep it a secret for so long. Somehow, I’m still the only person who knows.”

“T-That’s because-”

“Maybe I should tell the little kitsune,” She interrupted me, “I’m sure she would love to know.”

I could tell that she was just trying to tease me, but the idea was instantly lodged inside my mind.

What if I told her?

…

No. No, I can’t do that.

But…

What would she think about it?

…

Maybe…

“N-no,” I mumbled, “Don’t t-tell her.”

“Aw, that’s a shame. I just know that she would-”

“I-I’ll d-do it,” I interrupted Ellaria, surprising even myself with what I said, “Eventually… J-just not yet…”

She just stared back at me in silence. Not a word came out of her mouth.

Was that wrong?

Why aren’t you saying anything?

I tried to decipher her expression but just couldn’t.

“E-Ellaria?” I called out to her, my voice shaking.

“Oh,” In that moment, she suddenly came back to life, “I’m sorry. I was just… surprised… I didn’t expect you to actually want to tell her.”

“That’s-”

“But it’s a welcome change,” She put her finger up to my lips, “So now I’m going to hold you to your word. One day you need to tell the little kitsune all about it.”

…

“I-I will,” I muttered to myself, pouting a little, “T-that’s what I said I would do after all.”

Ellaria chuckled a little as she picked herself off the floor.

“Just think of it as some insurance,” She extended her hand out to me, “I’ll be there to remind you just in case you ever forget.”

I took her hand, and she pulled me up to my feet.

“Now, why don’t you go freshen up a bit?” Ellaria turned me towards the side room, “Your eyes are still a little red from when you were crying just now.”

“W-why?” I turned back, “I-it’s just you h-here. It’s f-fine if you see m-me like this.”

“Well, if you’re going to pay a visit to a certain someone’s dream, I’m sure you would want to look your best.”

What?

But why would I?…

“B-but you t-told me not to visit her t-too often?” I gave her a puzzled look, “S-so she didn’t d-depend on me t-too much. I-I remember.”

“Sister… That doesn’t mean you can never see her. I was just telling you not to visit her every night, or every other night for that matter,” She cupped her hand against my cheek, “You can still go check up on her every so often, just like what you did for her last night. You didn’t need my permission then, so why do you need it now?”

…

Why?

…

“I-I just… don’t want to m-make a mistake again…”

There was a brief pause before Ellaria spoke again, “You two are more similar than I thought.”

“What do you-?”

“Now, hurry up. She’s already fallen asleep,” Ellaria interrupted me by pushing me into the side room, “And before I forget about it, I thought I told you to call me either Aria or big sis?”

Before I could respond to her teasing, she closed the door behind me.

…

…

I should get ready quickly.

I quickly washed my face and changed into a new dress, making sure there weren’t any visible creases.

“A-alright, let’s do this,” I said to myself before flicking one of my tails.

Soon, a spirit appeared in front of me, taking on the form of a small fox. They had deep black fur similar to my own, but unlike mine, their fur had this slight blue sheen to it.

“Ovia? Why did you call me? I was just about to-” The little fox paused as they looked me up and down, “Oh, come on! I thought I was going to check on her tonight! You got to go last night!”

The spirit’s outburst surprised me. I had asked them to check on Kierra in her dreams every so often just to make sure she was okay. Back when I did, she had a similar outburst, although she complained about me suddenly calling her and giving her work to do instead.

“R-Rya I-”

“Look, it’s fine. I can already guess why you want to see her yourself.” She interrupted, “But I get tomorrow night! And that’s non-negotiable!”

Before I could even respond, she had already disappeared.

I just wanted to tell her she could take a break today…

I tried to call her again, but she didn’t respond.

“I-I don’t know how to t-talk to her…”

If she refused to answer my call, there wasn’t much I could do, so I decided it would be better to shift my focus to Kierra instead. I took a second just to check that she had actually fallen asleep before flicking my tail once again.

It wasn’t long before I found myself in the familiar black void of Kierra’s dream.

Maybe one day… there will be something else here…

I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Ever since I first entered her dreams, there had never been more than this large empty void reminiscent of my own domain.

“Is there really nothing you dream about?…” I carelessly let my inner thoughts escape from my lips.

Almost immediately, I heard a shuffle in the distance, followed by hurried footsteps quickly approaching me.

“Ovia?” I heard Kierra call out to me just before she slammed into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“K-Kierra!” I reached down to pat her head, but before I could, she looked up at me.

“Thank you… Thank you so much…”

I just stood there, unsure of how I was supposed to respond.

“They… They took me back… They-” As she stopped herself I heard a hint of reluctance in her voice, “They really took me back… right?… It wasn’t a dream?… Did it really happen?”

You poor girl…

I…

Seeing Kierra doubting what had happened tore at my heart, yet I couldn’t chastise her for it. Not after having seen everything she had been through.

“Y-yes!” I placed my hands on her shoulders and pulled her in closer, “Yes it d-did. Y-you are sleeping with t-them right now.”

I choked back my own tears as I tried to reassure her.

“I-I can assure you, as the G-Goddess of D-Dreams, i-it really happened, i-it wasn’t a dream.”

Kierra suddenly squeezed me a little tighter, “Thank you…”

After a brief pause, I knelt down so that I could hug her back properly, “A-are you happy now?”

“I… think so,” I could hear that she was holding back tears as she responded.

The fact that she couldn’t say yes hurt a little, but it was much better than hearing her say no. I wrapped my tails around the two of us, hoping to make up for whatever was stopping her from being sure of her own happiness.

The two of us stayed like that until Kierra eventually woke up. Leaving me back in the side room by myself, still able to feel the warmth that came from her lingering in my arms.

I picked up my Kierra plushie before deciding to make a promise to myself, “O-one day… you will say y-yes…” I ran my fingers through the plushie’s soft fur, “I-I’ll make sure of it!”