Industrial Strength Magic

Chapter 244: 4-D Landmarks

By the time Gareth had bounced back, Sera was finished being thrown in the air, and Perry guided both of them around the party, generally steering them towards people he knew would behave themselves.

All the while, Perry was digesting what hed just seen:

Solaris acting weird as hell. The look hed gotten from the powerful super for witnessing the slip had been so ominous that hed bailed from that particular possibility.

Perry narrowed it down to a handful of causes.

Some outside force was influencing Solaris.

A Minder capable of getting inside the mans brain? Solaris was able to literally turn his brain into light, so it was almost impossible.

Almost being the operative word.

Even if someone could get a hold on the photon-brain, could they keep up with it while he was moving at light speed?

Again, almost impossible.

Stress? Unlikely, Solaris seemed to thrive on high-stakes situations, given his former life as a successful drug kingpin.

Perry cocked his head to the side.

Sudden onset dementia? It would fit with the loss of memory and the tremors. But

Solariss body hadnt physically aged since hed first gotten his powers, as a hale and hearty man just north of fifty for the lastnearly sixty years. If anything, hed gotten healthier, seeming to have complete control over his body.

At least enough to fill out that hyperweave.

So it seems like something is causing memory loss and loss of motor controland it shouldnt be. Solaris is practically immune topretty much anything that could affect him.

A particularly strong curse might be able to do it if they got a piece of him to bind it to, but Solaris was, again, made of light. He didnt even bleed anymore. Cut a lock of hair and it would explode into light, no longer bound into physical form by his will. Same with blood orpretty much anything else.

How does he shave? Perry wondered.

Cutting Solariss hair would be a dangerous proposition. So did Solaris go off-planet to cut his hair, where the conversion of matter to energy wouldnt cause devastation in his local area?

Off-topic, but interesting.

Perry cut out what he believed could or couldnthappen and narrowed it down to only what he saw.

It looked like Solaris the man singlehandedly safeguarding the human race was suffering from brain damage as a result of an extremely potent curse of some kind.

That wasno bueno.

We need to dig deeper on this. Perry thought, glancing to the side as he saw Gerome and company approach the party from the outer dimensions.

Ah, crap.

The four of them landed in the bodies of their Character Sheets, and Perry tracked them down before they could play any more D&Dor rewrite the world as humans knew it. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Hey this isnt the same city, is it? Mars asked, the living pile of tentacles glancing around at Chicago laid out around them. Theyre constantly shifting around, and all the cities from this era look the same, so I have a hard time.

Nah, this is a bit further west. Clank said, downing a drink. The android one.

Oh yeah, they are robots, arent they? Neat. Mars said.

Oh, Hi Reggie! Jocelyn said, the sorceress inhabited by an unspeakable eldritch being said, seemingly noticing the super whose arm she clung to.

Hi? Reggie said, frowning at Jocelyns sudden change in track, not noticing the absolutely mind-boggling size of the creatures moving through the dimensional fabric around him.

It evoked the image of a gerbil in the middle of a nest of oversized boa-constrictors. The creatures were so big the gerbil mistook them for the scenery.

Of course, Reggie couldnt see that, but Perry could.

Hey guys, Perry said, approaching, making sure to keep Sera and Gareth close at hand. Youdoing something here today?

You sent them an invite? Reggie asked, still not quite understanding what was going on.

If you must know, were headed in a ----- direction, Gerome said, pointing in a direction that hurt to look at.

This party is a landmark of sorts. Jocelyn said, nodding. If you think of causality as an endless oceans of knots of cause and effect, this party is a bigger, more tangled one. So many powerful people meeting tends to spark a lot of different outcomes based on what happened, so we meet up at this knot to all gather at the same place, then we figure out where and when to go from there.

Were going surfing in Hawaii in the early sixties, Mars said, seemingly excited. Im even gonna be a human this time round. Ill be born and grow up and everything. I saw myself on the way by and it looked like a blast.

You might wanna steer clear of Pearl Harbor. Perry said. But, if you want to avoid the war, and being drafted for Vietnam, try being born abouttwelve years before America joins World War Two, saynineteen twenty-nine

Thats the beginning of the great depressionshit.

You know what, Mars? Just make sure that at least one of your parents is a high-paid professional, theyre both kind, and that youre born a man, and youll have an easy ride your first time as a human, alright?

Okay! Mars gave him a thumbs up.

If you wanna try hard mode, be born as a girl, Heather said, butting into Perrys conversation with the near-omnipotent individuals capable of making life very difficult for everyone.

Whys being a girl hard mode? the walking pile of tentacles asked.

Too much to go into right now, Perry said, stifling a sigh. Just make sure your dads a high-paid professional, okay?

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

Why his dad? Heather demanded. Why not his mom?

Because theyre going to the freakin early thirties! Perry said, shaking his fist at Heather, who danced away with a laugh. One of these days, Heather! Pow! Right across the kisser!

Not in a million years! she teased as she retreated.

You two have fun, Jocelyn commented, snuggling closer to Barrel of Monkeys. the fedora-wearing super looked like hed just realized there was a radioactive tarantula on his arm and was trying to stay calm. Why cant we have fun like that? she glanced up at him.

Because youre an eldritch being of wisdom and power that outclasses me in every conceivable way? Reggie said, his posture stiff.

But also, your seventeen-year-old girlfriend. Jocelyn pointed out.

Youre a lot of other things too.

Doesnt stop her. Jocelyn said, nodding toward Heather, who was fading back into the party, cackling. Please?

Reggie, A.K.A. Barrel of Monkeys, glanced skyward and unleashed an exasperated sigh tinged with mortal dread before raising his hand.

If you call yourself my seventeen-year-old girlfriend again, Illgive you such a spanking.

Kyaa! Jocelyn, the fourth-dimensional being who effortlessly traveled through time and spent entire human lives to pass the time, flinched away from Reggies spankin hand with exaggerated fear.

So you guys arent staying then? Perry said, eager to move things along.

He still had Solaris issues to worry about.

Nah, this is just a good landmark to meet up at, Gerome said, the dark-haired, self-proclaimed god of angry hornets snagged a drink off a tray carried by a serving robot before downing it.

Is your grandmother around? He asked. I was hoping to erase her entire existence before we move on.

Dude, reign it in, you know if you do that, we wouldnt be here in the first place. Clank said, flipping through dimensions like pages in a book, his expression contemplative until he seemed to settle on one that he liked.

Fiiiiine. You guys ready?

Lets do it!

Ill join you boys in a moment. Jocelyn said.

I did see you spending a lot of time with that mortal on the way into this timeline, Gerome said sourly as Clank ripped dimensions open and left his body, jumping through the distortion only Perry could see.

Ill catch up, dont worry, Jocelyn said, waving dismissively. Theres a part of me that wants to indulge in him. I guess hes in touch with my inner seventeen year old girl.

Would you please. Stop doing that!? Im thirty four! Its not okay for me to be with seventeen-year-olds!

Kyaa!

Well, have fun, Jocelyn, Mars said with a slimy shrug Well meet you in Hawaii, umm

Nineteen thirty-three, Clank offered from the dimensional rip, offering his hand to Mars, who stepped out of his body and took it. A moment later, Gerome did the same, the three leaving Jocelyn there by herself.

Needless to say, only Perry saw this side of the exchange.

What just happened? Geromes character sheet said, glancing down at the drink in his hand. I was just over thereand my religion forbids drinking.

The godlike entities that created you for fun passed through our timestream for a moment on their road trip to surfing in Hawaii during the Great Depression. Perry offered.

I understood about a quarter of that. Marss Character Sheet, a tentacle monster Rogue said.

You guys are fine, enjoy the party. Perry said.

Will do, Clanks Character sheet said, unflappable in the face of weird. Then again, he was a Bard.

Jocelyn, Perry said, turning his attention to the last remaining eldritch abomination. How long were you planning on staying?

Oh, until Reggie dies, then Ill take his soul.

Reggie tensed.

Ive got this lovely place in ancient Greece picked out for us. A quiet little village that goes completely untouched by war and famine for a hundred years. Ill reincarnate us there. As a thank you for being such a nice boyfriend my first time as a human.

Thatdoes sound nice. Reddie admitted.

And did you know Jocelyn leaned over to Reggies ear and whispered, Reggies eyes gradually widening as she continued.

Okay. Im in. Reggie said. Kill me now.

Oh, you kidder. She said, lightly punching his shoulder.

Seriously. Reggie said.

Please dont kill any of my guests, Perry said. No matter how much they ask for it.

Of course. Besides, I dont have to wait long, since everyones gonna die in the next six months or so anyway, She said, idly stirring a cocktail with a straw, trying to nudge a bit of blackberry off the bottom of the glass.

What? Perry asked.

What? Jocelyn asked, glancing up with a frown.

WHAT!? Perry demanded.

What!? She asked, backing away from Perrys intensity.

What do you mean everyones gonna die in six months!? Perry demanded.

Well, you knowlandmarks in the dimensions are usually marked by

You said a lot of powerful people in one place.

And then dropping like flies. Yes. Jocelyn said with a nod.

You did not mention that part. Perry said.

We didnt? Huh.

What is going to kill everyone in six months!? Perry asked.

Cant tell you that and have it do any good. Jocelyn said.

Explain.

If I told you what the threat was and you prevented it, this would no longer be a landmark, and I wouldnt be here explaining it to you. Its what you would calla Paradox? She gave him a cheeky smile.

Paradox is my name. I can handle it. Perry said.

You literally cant. let me demonstrate. Cast the Probability Dodge.

Perry didnt bother asking why she knew about the spell and just cast it.

Paradoxs Probability Dodge.exe (2).

Perrys possibilities split into four.

The four of them deliberately stepped away from each other, creating distance between them.

Okay, fours a bit more than we needed, but its fine. Jocelyn said, splitting into four as she followed Perrys four possibilities.

One of Jocelyns probabilities began speaking.

So, for the purpose of this demonstration, this version of me went back in time and created an asteroid on a collision course with earth that will destroy all life in abou-

That version of Jocelyn stopped existing, along with the Perry listening to it, disappearing in a flash of light and a splitting migraine.

What happened? Perry asked, wincing.

That version of me never came to your party because you went on to stop the asteroid she warned you about. The headache youre feeling is the backlash of a possible future twanging like a guitar string. Its very rare for the dimensionally impaired to be able to perceive those, by the way. Congratulations.

So is there an asteroid? Perry asked

Not for you, Jocelyn shook her head. Let me clarify. There was an asteroid heading towards Earth at the beginning of our conversation, but because I told that version of you about it, it no longer exists, and in order to maintain my presence here, I by default had to shift to a Landmark, which means that in this possible present, where were still talkingthere is something else about to happen, and it always has been. If I were to warn you about that something, I would either remove myself from the equation or cause that something to wiggle around and become something else that was always going to happen. Again. Time is weird like that.

She thought for a moment. Or, if nothing at all happened after I told you about it, that would mean there was absolutely nothing you could do and you were doomed to fail and die. Whichwouldnt really be something youd like to know anyway.

Jocelyn shuddered. Thats never fun.

We really are like insects to you, arent we? Perry said, digesting the sheer scope of her perspective. She was literally seeing (and experiencing) all possibilities at once and mix-and-matching dimensions on the fly, causing everything that had happened up until this point to change retroactively as a demonstration of a concept.

It was like the Probability Dodge raised to the infinite powerand including time travel.

Eh, Jocelyn shrugged and took a drink. Youre getting there, Paradox. Your eyes are open. Still clouded like a babys but maybeone day.

You would know, wouldnt you? Perry asked.

Not really. Infinite means infinite. I see everyone joining our ranksand no one. The actions of those of us who ascendare difficult to perceive. Although surviving the next something would probably be a good first step in your case.

Ill bet, Perry said drily. Well, thanks for the heads-up, in exchange Ill give you some relationship advice, on the down low.

Oh?

Tone it down a bit with Reggie, alright? Youre stressing him out.

I am!? Jocelyn asked, eyes widening.

Hes been dating your character sheet for a couple years now, so youre kind of stealing her spot, and weirding him out even more in the process.

Oh. Jocelyn glanced down in thought. Huh.

Missed the forest for the trees, huh? Perry asked.

Have you ever been jealous of yourself? Jocelyn asked. Its a strange feeling.

Im sure youll figure it out. Try just talking about it with them in private before doing anything drastic. Perry said, as he began collapsing the Probability Dodge. You may know time, but I know humans.

Perry returned to his primary probability. The one that hadnt done anything but watch the conversation unfold.

What was that all about? Reggie asked. You guys just stared at each other for a moment.

We just had had an enlightening potential conversation that didnt actually happen, Perry said, tapping his nose.

Jocelyn nodded sagely. Indeed.