Chapter 147: In Another Lifetime
The music swelled as Iyana and Easton joined the waltzing couples, the firelight casting a warm, almost deceptive glow over their figures. The elegant rhythm of the dance did little to quell the unease gnawing at Iyana's thoughts.
As they moved in sync, Iyana broke the silence, her voice edged with quiet tension. "Where have you been, Your Imperial Highness? You have been absent since yesterday."
Easton met her gaze, and for a brief moment, an apology flickered in his eyes. "I apologize for my abrupt departure. Urgent matters required my attention in the capital—things that couldn't be delayed."
Iyana scrutinized his expression, searching for the truth beneath his words. She was kind of glad neither of them were wearing masks. "So urgent that you couldn't send a single word? You vanished without a trace."
His grip on her hand tightened subtly, but the practiced smile remained on his face. "Sorry, I never intended to worry you. I know I should have kept you informed, but I didn't want to burden you with such matters."
"That's what you always do—take all the burdens on your shoulder all alone," she replied, her tone softening despite herself. "Anyway, what brings you back so suddenly?"
Easton's gaze darkened, something unreadable passing through his eyes. "There is something I need to tell you, Iyana. Something I should have tried to convey with words from the beginning."
"What is it?" she asked, her curiosity now tinged with a wary anticipation.
They danced in silence for a few beats, the music and laughter around them fading into the background.
"Iyana, I love you," he finally uttered, his voice betraying the vulnerability he rarely showed.
Iyana's heart dropped into a pit in her stomach, her response slipping out as an involuntary, muted "Oh."
Easton's smile turned wistful, as if he had rehearsed this moment countless times in his mind. "I know I have danced around my feelings, expecting you to understand without me saying it outright. I truly regret that."
He thought, with a trace of bitterness, how often one realizes the value of someone only when they truly were on the verge of losing them.
"And I also know that from the start, you weren't really for or against our marriage." He had assumed that having her would be enough, that he could make her happy over time. That was why he had convinced himself to be fine with her indifference. "But I can tell that as time went on, you leaned more and more towards against. I am sorry I pretended not to notice."
"Your Imperial Highness," Iyana began, her voice faltering as she searched for the right words, "why are you telling me this now?"
"It's just…" His voice wavered,the emotions he struggled to keep in check spilling out a little. "There are so many things I wish I could redo from the start, so many regrets in every little decision I made." He took a sharp breath and met her gaze, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hope. "But none of that matters now. All I have is the present and the future."
Iyana remained silent, her unreadable eyes fixed on him as she listened intently.
"Look, there is a lot at stake right now, something big coming up that I can't ignore. But there is only one thing I need to know before I decide whether to keep holding on or not," Easton continued, his voice clear and resolute. "Iyana, do you want to marry me?"
For the first time, Easton asked her what she wanted. Not what was expected, not what was imposed, but what she truly wanted.
Until now, their engagement had been a decision forced upon Iyana, leaving her no choice but to comply. As a citizen of Haynes, she could hardly defy the imperial family, especially after being pawned off by her own.
Iyana didn't look away from him, a subtle, bittersweet smile tugging at her lips. "You know, if you had asked me that a month ago, my answer might have been different."
It would have been easier to marry Easton, even without love, but now that her heart belonged to someone else, how could she do that to him?
Easton's smile tightened, barely masking the thousand painful emotions swirling within him. He had expected her response, but that didn't soften the blow.
"But right now, with the way I feel, I am sorry, I can't," she said, her voice sincere and filled with regret. "I cannot marry you, Easton."
"I understand," he managed to say, forcing himself to maintain his usual neutral expression. "It's… remarkable how this is the first time you have used my name since losing your memories."
"I am sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing," he replied, his tone gentle yet strained. "I just wonder… if things would have been different between us if you hadn't lost your memories. Maybe our friendship from back then could have helped our relationship a little."
As her rejection sank in, Easton's heart ached painfully. He knew the consequences of the situation he was in. Princess Maria had escaped, and as soon as his father found out about it, his engagement to Iyana would be over. His father had given him one last chance, playing along with his whims, but this was it. His last chance was lost.
The thought of losing Iyana, of her never being his, gnawed at him relentlessly. He had never been denied anything in his life, and when he first told his father that Iyana was the only one he would marry, his father had agreed without hesitation.
But after countless troubles and mishaps with House Estelle, even as his father turned against the marriage, Easton remained resolute. She was his true love—how could he let go? How could he let go of the one person he wanted more than anything else?
Even now, a small part of him had clung to the hope of a different answer from her.
But as she repeated, "I am sorry," once more, she hammered home that his first love wouldn't come true in this lifetime.
For a moment, he stood there, his hand still holding hers, the weight of everything unsaid hanging heavily between them. The pain was sharp, like a knife twisting in his heart, but he forced himself to maintain his composure, to keep the mask he had worn so well all these years.
He was the Crown Prince of Haynes, after all. People like him had no right to be emotional or prioritize love. His first and foremost duty should be towards the empire, not her.
How extremely foolish of him to think he could prioritize both when he had miserably failed in doing either.
Easton's gaze lingered on her, taking in the subtle sadness in her eyes, the way her lips curved in that bittersweet smile.
Oh, lord, how am I supposed to ever let her go even after all this—even after she has rejected me? How could I walk away knowing that she would never be mine?
The temptation to close the distance between them, to kiss her one last time, flickered in his mind.
But as he looked into her eyes—searching for someone else—Easton realized that doing so wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make her love him, wouldn't erase the words she had just spoken. All it would do was leave them both with another memory tinged with regret.
So, instead of giving in to that fleeting impulse, he gently released her hand, his fingers brushing against hers one last time as if memorizing the feel of her skin.
His voice, when he finally spoke, was quieter, tinged with a sadness that he could no longer hide. "Iyana," he said softly, "I truly wish things could have been different between us. I wish maybe we could be together in another lifetime."
He took a small step back, giving her space, even as every fiber of his being screamed to pull her closer. But he knew better. Easton had always been the one who kept his emotions tightly controlled, and he wouldn't let them spill out now—not when it could only cause more pain.
"Goodbye," with that, Easton turned away and vowed to never falter again.
He would now dedicate himself entirely to his first and foremost duty, something he should have done from the first. Maybe that would have spared him the excruciating heartbreak.
But as he walked away, there was someone standing in the corner of the ball who gasped, covering her mouth.
"Oh, my fucking God, there was supposed to be a kiss between the main leads," she muttered under her breath in shock. "How the hell did the story plot line change like this?"