A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 10, Chapter 267: Similar and Homogenous

…So, who would like to kill me, huh?

From the time he heard those words in front of Philos Castle Gate, a certain conviction was born in Roseau’s chest. It was a strange belief that he, Lugis, must be the same as Roseau.

Although he was a leader, he exposed himself in front of the enemy soldiers and shouted to God to kill him.

Yes, he was the same. He, like Roseau, didn’t regard his life as a center piece. Lugis unquestionably had something deep in his heart that he hated. That something was much bigger than his life. Roseau didn’t know much about Lugis, but he was sure that Lugis had an unseen passion.

“That’s why, I think. Lugis’ essence is neither evil nor vice. He is his own kind, and his own brilliance…A grudge.”

「Do not avoid the core of this world after realizing its foolishness, my enemy.」

Roseau spoke, cutting through his burning lips. He just talked, while wielding his fiery talent.

In this world, even with wrong and right, everybody had hatred somewhere. Hatred born from those who couldn’t eat bread today, those who couldn’t afford a comfy bed, those whose parents were killed, those whose daughters were teased by soldiers, and those whose lovers’ corpses were trampled on the battlefield. The seeds of misery and hatred were sown everywhere.

Even so, people always behaved as if they had nothing to do with hatred.

Even so, once the outlet was created, they would continue to spit out their passions like crazy. Was that not the case with Philos citizens?

She, Philos Trait, who was burned to the ground by her beloved people, was the righteous one. She thought of the citizens, loved them, and sometimes even embraced them. She was right, yes, and she was the most suitable ruler than anyone else could be.

“But, that didn’t matter. Once I labeled her as someone immoral, her citizens threw stones at her and hit her with sticks. She had only a few things to protect her.”

“How worthless. After all, they don’t think about anything in their own minds, they just live their lives as dolls of madness driven by hatred.”

That’s why, Roseau thought. They deserved a suitable end. The truth was that there was only hatred and malice in this world, even for the righteous girl named Philos Trait. Roseau decided to teach them all the correct manners.

Roseau continued to speak, smiling as if he were self-deprecating. His lips undulated in the flames.

「I’m not denying hatred, you know. Rather, let’s affirm all the hatred of this world.」

“That’s why I think we should burn it all. Those who deny hatred treat it as if it is nothing.”

“I’ll beat them all. Let the hatred that dwells in our hearts burn, let it boil and fill this world with righteous hatred.”

After all, Roseau believed that it was the right thing to do in this world. He could confidently affirm that burning hatred was the real source, the original source.

「You are the same as me. The fuel that made those two legs move forward so far is nothing but hatred.」

Roseau spoke loudly to Lugis. On the other hand, Lugis’ gaze pierced Roseau’s figure.

—

Hatred. Did he say hatred? I muttered lightly in my chest. While listening to Roseau’s words, I was thinking of a scene behind my eyelids.

It was a memory of the past journey that I once saw. The bottom of the earth I once saw. At the end, what was filling the depths of my chest and pushing my body in that way?

Needless to say, it was pure hatred as Roseau described. I felt selfish and rough feelings everywhere. Was it possible to deny them now?

The hero that behaved like the sun had everything I didn’t have, and the prideful prodigy of the Knights was so strong that I couldn’t even touch her mysterious teeth. The Sorceress, the Elf Princess and Ariene were all so brilliant that I couldn’t even reach them with my fingertips.

Yeah, I hated them and envied them.

Sometimes I was trampled, and sometimes my dignity was in jeopardy. How many times had I gritted my teeth to the existence that could not be reached by my will alone? How many times had I licked humiliation? There was no salvation or fragments of respect back then. That awful every day caused me nausea just by remembering it.

If I thought about it, Roseau and I were probably similar. There was no difference. If he had the same days as mine, then I should even take that hand. At the end of Roseau’s words, there was certainly something that reminded me of it.

My heart was hot enough to burn. I distorted my lips, lifted my cheeks and said.

「Roseau, I can’t deny your words. Hate was something I used to feel every day, and I don’t know how many times I had envy. In that sense, you and I are certainly the same.」

No matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t deny the hatred I had in my heart. I was sure I’d continue to live with this ridiculous thing in my viscera.

Even so.

I distorted my mouth and professed the following words.

「…But, still, we’re not the same kind. There’s only one difference. You try to burn them all, whereas I don’t. That’s all.」

A rough sigh leaked from my mouth. The exhalation itself through my throat was likely to burn the airway. I forcibly grasped the treasure sword with my left hand. A dull pain swirled through my body up to my lips. In the distance, I could see something that moved slightly.

There was only one thing unacceptable. I didn’t want to burn the heroes I longed for with hatred.

「I didn’t want to kick them and I didn’t want to despise them…I wanted to stand side by side with them.」

Oh, something strange was about to sprout from the bottom of my heart.

I wanted to reach out to those glorious heroes. I wanted to be a person who could not only follow their backs but also walk side by side, together. The only thing that was at the root of my very being was that dazzling yearning. For that reason, I wouldn’t even mind to throw my life away.

That’s why I’ll say it. Roseau and I were similar. However, we were not homogenous.

「…It’s unfortunate, really . Then, I will burn you to ashes, enemy. 」

Roseau’s words were like a voice that said the truth of his heart. The emotion reflected in his heavily distorted eyes reminded me of sadness. Really, his expression seemed to be somewhat sad.

I held the treasure sword with only my left arm to respond to Roseau’s words. I put the blade on my right shoulder.

My body was transforming into a burnt flesh, and my skin made a scorching, distorted sound. I had this feeling of being steamed from the inside. But strangely, there was another fever behind it. It was not burning and painful; it was a very pleasant heat.

My eyes burned. I saw the shadow moving.

「Don’t worry, yes, don’t worry, Roseau. I’ll save you here. 」

Me and Roseau. I was sure that we had the same roots. But for some reason, we couldn’t be the same.

I didn’t know the reason. I didn’t know his past, and he didn’t know my past either. I was sure we wouldn’t even want to know each other’s scars. Yet, I felt a connection with him.

…But if I dared say it, I had Ariene, Mrs. Ninz and the old man. Maybe he didn’t have anybody. It was a small difference but crucial.

With such a small difference, I finally burned my yearning. There was an indescribable feeling in the back of my chest.

I stepped on the red bricks while bringing the treasure sword on my shoulder. From Roseau’s body, I could see sparks burning again. The flame snake was looking at me as if it were hostile.

I closed my eyelids for a moment and made a wish on the treasure sword.

…It goes without saying. That is already known to me.If my Lord asks me to do so, then I’ll cut it off with a single strike.Because I am a tool made for that.

At the same time as such a sound echoed in my skull, I made my legs run. With the momentum that no longer fell down, I entrusted my body to the treasure sword.

Roseau’s heat shook like a twinkle in front of my eyes. His eyes were still burning with fire. The crimson light kept burning through the night.